The Burn Means It's Working????

So - I haven't posted since my quadrasphere because, well, to put it bluntly, it KICKED MY ASS!!! I must say, it was by far the worst recovery I have gone through with any of the treatment I have received in the past. I don't know if I was not thinking, was in denial, not sure. But this was horrible. The procedure itself went well. In fact, my surgeon said that once they had done dousing the left side of my liver with the chemo beads, there were some left over, so they went on my right side a bit. So there may have been a kind of 'double whammy' affect here as well, who knows. The day of the procedure, I don't really remember much to be honest. I just remember being in such horrific pain. It was liver pain, something I have never felt before. Now, as it was explained to me by one of the doctors, this procedure essentially killed a portion of my liver. Doesn't sound too pleasant, eh? The chemo beads not only killed the tumor, but it killed the portion of my liver on which the tumor sat. They also cut off the blood supply to that portion of my liver, another ouch. I can only explain the pain as the feeling of the most horrendous heartburn, acid stomach feeling, but higher up in your gut, like right below the middle of your breasts. I refused the pain meds initially (big mistake) and found myself vomiting Wed night then again Thursday morning about 3 times. They kept me an additional night to make sure I was OK. But I didn't eat for literally 3 days. I was so weak. Once I finally said yes to the morphine, it seemed to move along a bit better. Well, it's morphine - what wouldn't right?

I have to say, this experience scared me. Scared me in a way that shoved the seriousness of what was happening to me right to the front of my brain. It did this to both PJ and myself. I would look at PJ's face there in the hospital, and he just didn't know what to do to help me. I'm not the best patient either, I just want everyone to leave me alone. And I wasn't having any of anyone. When I left the hospital on Friday, I couldn't make it 50 feet without needing to sit down I was so weak from not eating. All I wanted to do was sleep. I'm better now, but still needing to take pain meds on a pretty consistent basis. It's like this whole thing brought back all the 'chemo' feelings back from when I went through them back when I was originally diagnosed. Like I was right back there again, only worse. Totally sucked. Which then of course plays the mind game with you as well. But on that front, I've been pretty good at making sure my thoughts line up with Gods word. Practice makes perfect. That and Psalm 91. (thanks Mary)

Next step is to scan me in 4 weeks, then do the right side 2 weeks after that. So we will see where we are then. Obviously going to ask for the morphine to be on tap when they wheel me in next time.

Halloween was great, its been so awesome to watch my girls grow up. They are just so precious to me. I know I'm their mom and am bias and all that crap, but my connection with my girls just continues to flourish and grow. They are such lights to me. They both have been consistently coming in to our bed at night to sleep lately. And I haven't really complained about this a bit. I find my girls, snuggling with my girls, so - healing. It's like they communicate with me in this non verbal way that is angelic, for lack of a better word. My heart is at such peace when I am with them. I feel like I'm not describing this correctly at all. It's just something I feel when I'm with them.

My insurance battle continues. They came back and denied my appeal. So I'm going to post my response here. Time to bring out the big guns. Scary part is, I essentially have NO PRIMARY INSURANCE coverage right now. I can't believe this. I'm currently constructing a letter to send out to everyone and anyone who will listen. I am so scared that CTCA will stop treating me. I can't stop this treatment - I just can't. I know nothing else but to fight with all I have. I should be fighting for my life, not my insurance coverage.

Getting sleepy here - and Madeline just snuck in. :-)

God Bless -

Dina

11/4/2011


Customer Resolution Team
P.O. Box 14462
Lexington, KY 40512

RE: Dina L. Mountcastle FAX: -1-860-754-0068
Case Number #2011101800836

Dear Sirs:

In reference to your response letter of 10.18.11 to my request for appeal, please note the following as my formal appeal of your position:

The mere wording of the exclusion in reference, ‘Non-Duplication of Medicare’ clearly defines itself. This exclusion is meant, and understood to mean, that when coverage is originally put in place (2008 in this case), the policy is not written to give duplication of coverage should Medicare be in place. In this case, it was not. Therefore, this exclusion, while meaningful, does not apply.

It is not stated within the wording of the exclusion ‘at any time during the policy term’ for which Medicare coverage may come into play. This exclusion clearly is meant as a safety to ensure duplication of coverage is not collectible by the insured.

There is no duplication of coverage. There was not at the inception of this policy, and there is no duplication of coverage now. The premiums paid to you from the beginning of the policy back in 2008 reflected that of primary health insurance coverage, and your policy has responded accordingly up until recently. The premiums continue to be paid to you presently reflect the same. Therefore, Aetna needs to respond as the primary health insurance coverage.

As I await your response once again, please note you will be copied on letters explaining this case in detail addressed to my state representatives, government officials, local and national media, our President, and my attorney. My life is too precious to me and my family to allow Aetna to force me to take a government program I do not want, didn’t request, and don’t pay for. It is wrong. It is unconstitutional.

It is astounding to me that I have to fight for my coverage at the same time I’m trying desperately to fight for my life.

Sincerely,


Dina L. Mountcastle
dinakay@hotmail.com
928-277-3001 cell