Twas The Night Before Quadrasphere..........

Well, here we go again. Scheduled for another zap of the cancer cells tomorrow morning. Pre-op at 8am and procedure at 9. I am so optimistic, it's strange. I'm actually a little excited. I think because I know it's working it a huge part of it, but also because I'm feeling so good these days, maybe for the same reason. Who knows. I'm just full of hope.

Alright, I am scared too. I can't help but be afraid to think I am going right back in there to feel super shitty again, for like, 14 days afterwards - but at least I know what the worst feels like. And again, knowing that it's working, makes the blow a whole lot more bearable. Plus, as soon as that fear creeps in, gotta let God creep right in and take it. Practice makes perfect.

We had a great time at the Polar Express this past weekend. It was so great. The girls were just so excited, and I think the best part was one of the most unplanned things. We got there, had a great lunch at a local diner, checked in to our room, picked up the tickets, played in the snow, got into our jammies, took the train to the North Pole, had cookies and hot chocolate, met Santa, had dinner, then settled in for the night. Then, when we are all tucked into bed - PJ and Ginger in one bed, and Madeline and I in the other, I turn the TV onto 'Its A Wonderful Life'. The 4 of us laid there and watched the whole thing. Madeline asking questions the whole time, and really getting into the story. Of course one of her first questions was 'why doesn't this movie have any color mom? why is it in black and white?' but once we got past that, she was way into the story line. I have to say it was one of the coolest life moments I think I've ever experienced. I am so blessed. I have just the best little family ever.

I need to share a passage from a book I've been reading off and on here for awhile, and this passage is one that I read before I went in for my scan and results of the quadrasphere. It's one of those ironic moments - well, ironic is probably not the right word. In any case, here it is:

'God will speak to you too - straight to your heart. I can't promise everything will be okay. It may be; it may not be. But I promise, based of the faithfulness of God, that you can be okay. Just don't pull up that anchor. And never let go of the rope.'

I just think this is awesome. I needed a reminder like this. I wish I could write more here, but I should probably get to sleep since we have to hit the road by 6am. As of midnight I can't have anything to eat or drink till my procedure tomorrow. I'm starting to think maybe Taco Bell wasn't the greatest choice for dinner before this procedure where I don't eat for 2-3 days. Hmmmm. I'm going to go drink a big glass of water.

I can't thank you enough for your prayers, and if you could spare a few more, send em up around 9am tomorrow, cool? Bring It On!!!

God Bless -

Dina