Real Life Prayer Chain

My recent appt at CTCA went fine actually - my blood counts were normal, of course, I've lost 9 lbs which everyone is thrilled about, including me - isn't it ironic that the normal emaciated side effect of cancer and going through therapy is quite the opposite with breast cancer - breast cancer treatment actually makes you gain weight - something I found challenging before cancer anyway - but I am finally feeling like I am taking control of this part of my physical self. I am exercising and eating better and making better choices and it is making a HUGE difference in how I feel. I feel really great. My onc doesn't want to talk scans till the end of the month - he wants to give this medication combination a chance to work, at least 8 weeks. So I feel like I have this regime under control - the chemo pills are fine and the aromatase inhibitor is fine - I'm really handling these drugs very well. The side effects of both of these drugs I felt when I was on them before are no where to be seen - at least for now - so I feel like I've been given this longer leash and that feels pretty good. I enjoy these 'between scans' times rather than loathe them - I figure I've got this awesome stretch of time to enjoy my family, feel great, grow out my hair, and live each day - who knows what next month will bring, for any of us really, right?

My mom is doing better - and Ginger is be bopping along - you'd never know anything was ever wrong with her. I've been trying to get a second opinion scheduled for her but have yet to be successful in playing the telephone tag game. Frustrating.

So - without going into details cuz it's really just not worth it - we changed home churches about a month or so ago - it was a difficult heart wrenching decision for our family, but we needed to make this change. So, I'm sitting in service this past Sunday and after listening to the message, I go up to receive communion and then, without even being consciously aware I head to the prayer area, kneel in front of the cross and begin to pray for my mom and Ginger. I am quietly knelt there when I feel a hand on my shoulder, another on my back, then another on my arm. I then hear people praying over me - praying that God restore me to the original form in which He created me in my mothers womb - that this cancer was not of Him, and to restore me to my original form. I am brought to tears by this image, and suddenly I have this image enter into my mind of this chain of souls - a chain of souls reaching to heaven, all holding hands. This is what it is all about isn't it? I'm knelt praying for my child and mother, while others are behind me praying for me, while others are subconsciously behind them praying for them, and so on. I was filled with such peace, and the image of being 'restored to my original form' was extremely powerful for me to envision. It was an amazing experience.

So the tattooing went well - I was all ready to pick out my areola but it was much more uneventful than I had anticipated. She literally had a stencil - like the plastic ones we had in grade school - a stencil of circles that she just picked one out and drew a circle around each one then went ahead and got started. It did hurt on one side more than the other - but it didn't hurt where she was tattooing, it hurt in other areas of my breast, if that makes any sense. It was really strange. Took about an hour. They are totally healed now, but I go back in again in a couple weeks to have them done one more time as they tend to fade. So I'll get another 'coat' and some 'shading' at my next appt and then I think it is all done. I've been going to see Dr. Mosharaffa for almost 2 years now, I feel like i need to give him a plant or something. Wow. What will my calendar look like without a trip on it down to see him? Well, he's definitely going to make my Christmas card list, that's for sure. I'll post pics when they are all done and pretty. I have to admit, I really like them.

So I had mentioned in my last post the old saying 'God won't give you any more than you can handle' and how I think that is basically just a big crock of shit. Well, a good friend of mine had a comment on this that I feel the need to share here - because it really puts this stupid phrase in perspective, and allows me to start the movement to simply abolish this stupid saying right here and now. Patti - I am quoting you directly and I hope you don't mind cuz you are just frickin awesome - here goes:

"And as to that old favorite quote about not giving us more than we can handle, well that's just a crock. I don't know whose bright idea it was, but they obviously hadn't walked in your shoes. More to the point, I think, is that somehow we do manage what is handed to us, but sometimes it is very, very hard and it certainly takes its toll. That is a far cry from the cavalier idea of God just blithely handing out difficulties that we somehow manage to push through. Again, I just don't think that is the way God operates. I think that it is by God's grace that we manage, not by God's piling on to see how much we can take. Maybe it all comes down to semantics, but I think it bears looking at because, as you point out, so many people put so much store in that idea."

Brilliant. I'm so lucky that I get to chat and be around such awesomely smart people. What a gift - I wish I could share every one's

Off to bed with me now - trying to get more sleep but I always think I'm going to miss something if I go to bed early - why do I do that? Is Celebrity Rehab REALLY that important?

God Bless