I'll take Bruising over Beefy

My chest now has a layer of yellow bruising covering it. Mostly in the center of by breast bone. But, it still looks pretty good. Better then the yukky 'beefy' wounds I had way back when. This is much better, so glad to be in this position. Feel ok, but I get so tired and sore at night. I haven't taken anything but Advil until the evening when the girls go to sleep, then I'll take a percocet. I am pretty sore by that time. And, this is weird, my right side kinda sloshes - yea, sloshes. Doc said on Tues it was because I had some fluid build up there, but he wasn't worried and feels my body will take care of this on its own. Guess if I pee more than usual I see if I still squish. I look like I have half boobs - it's really strange. This will be a very interesting process of filling them up each week.

Started back on my chemo pills today, and I guess I'm ok with this. I mean, I'm glad to be taking them again, but sometimes I feel like I'm just waiting to see how I'm going to feel. I get a little fuzzy brain - chemo brain I used to call it - could this be the pills or am I just healing from surgery still or am I just trying to get back to my 'mom' role? Or is it all 3? Don't know - but I can honestly say I've been in a funk of sorts the past couple days, and I think that is because I've been on this whirlwind of experiences that I haven't had time to stop and breathe a moment. I went from learning about the small recurrence on my liver, to changing meds, to Santa Fe, to coming home, to surgery, to now trying to incorporate all this and getting back to 'normal' - whatever that is. Sometimes I think I am trying so hard to be present and apply all that I've learned from all these experiences and people that I end up in this daze. Also, this Santa Fe trip really drained us - I mean, 12 days ANYWHERE is expensive - we just don't have this kind of extra 'cash' around ya know? I don't regret going, not in the least, this pay period has just been super super tight. That always puts an extra dash of 'yuk' into your daily mood too ya know? It's funny though learning what you need to live on, and it really isn't as much as we all think it is is it? I am very grateful God has pulled us through this time, as He has done many times before, with just enough for all of us.

I have my MOPS meeting tomorrow and my oncologist is coming to speak about breast cancer. I can't wait to show her off to everyone. Gotta rise a bit early, although Ginger has been an awesome alarm clock lately. OH - thought I would share some pics from my Santa Fe trip - these came out so great, enjoy & God Bless.