Do You Know The Way to Santa Fe.......

So here we are, Tues here in Santa Fe, NM. Today is going a lot better then yesterday. I totally get the whole 'become the bush' kind of exercises, but they pretty much made me do this all day yesterday. So, I was frustrated at first, very frustrated - then applied some of my Stephen Ministry training (assertiveness) to explain my frustration, and that seemed to work. They still kept sending me out to become one with stuff, so I took the opportunity to adventure out and soak in some amazing galleries. I'd become one with some crap, then sightsee, then one with something else, then sight see, then realize I wore the totally wrong shoes, tried to create my feet to not hurt, that didn't work. Needless to say I was ready for yesterday to be over. Today we're working through some cool stuff, and I'm discovering new stuff each moment. It's cool. Funny, I read my devotional for this morning, and it completely envelopes where my soul is. God is so good.

Funny, my cancer story continues to be just that, a story to me - taking the experience and letting just that portion become part of me - not the story itself, if that makes sense. I asked someone why they thought people got cancer and this was their answer - "I think it's stress for most, and I think others get it to show others how to go through it". Interesting, eh? This resonates with me the following : when I was sitting in for my calcium treatment last week, I was seated in one of the little pods with another woman who was there alone (something I will NEVER understand) and was about to receive her first chemotherapy treatment. I looked into her eyes and knew immediately where she was and what she was feeling. I gave her some stupid, off handed comment at first, which was really me not knowing what to say at that time but wanting to connect with her without thinking first, and she gave me this look like I was crazy. I relaxed, still wanting to connect with her - and said to her "you don't know how strong you really are - it's going to be ok". She started to cry, then I started to cry. I felt exactly what she was feeling and wanted to just scoop her up in my arms and run out of the building with her. This, is what she needed to hear, and I knew it, I just didn't listen to myself at first. We chatted then for a bit, and I think of her often now. I know that this connection with people is something I am supposed to do great things with in this life. Just don't know how yet.

Well, lunch break is just about over so I best be getting back to it. I miss my family so much, but I am so blessed to have this experience to bring back home to them. Again, what a gift.

God Bless -