This Salsa is Giving Me Hot Flashes!!

Yes, I'm afraid it's true. Salsa and coffee seem to trigger hot flashes for me. Damn. I am not annoyed enough yet to give either of them up, but I am being very, shall we say in the style of Timm Gun 'thoughtful' about it. We'll see.

I have been so frickin tired at night. Granted we had a lot going on too plus me adding the gym to my daily routine, but just exhausted by evenings end. Our weekend was nice, had PJ's dad up and we had a nice time.

I am going to be taking the Avatar course at the recommendation of my oncologist. I am nervous, and excited about this all at the same time. Most of my nervousness is surrounded by the fact that I will be out of state away from my family for 11 days - yikes. I haven't been away from my kids for more than 24-48 hours tops, ever. This will be test, that is for sure. This course, in a nutshell teaches the following: when you take some time and examine your 'beliefs' in things, do you believe things because of what you have experienced before or do you believe things because of what people have told you? Maybe both? I'm not talking 'spiritually' here, at least not for me - I'm talking about my health, people, my life, your core general belief system. Who is to say that we can't control what we believe will happen in the future, based on us simply making the decision to believe that way. Deep - I know. But I think there is some powerful stuff here, and my doc feels strongly enough about it to not scan me again until I finish this course. (I'm due in March and we will scan just before my surgery in early April) Pretty frickin cool, eh? Now, I asked her specifically, where she sees God in all of this, because my relationship with God and Jesus are extremely important to me - and she said something very cool - she said (I'm paraphrasing here) "Everyone who comes into this comes into it with their own set of spiritual values, for me, I was always walking with God, this allowed me to actually be present with God, to feel Him in my heart, like we were one." Again, pretty frickin cool. So, I am mentally preparing to move forward with this. A chance to make decision on my beliefs where my own health are concerned - I am thrilled to start to learn the tools on how to do this. My fears still get the best of my sometimes, and another layer of assistance in dealing with those fears I feel will be very beneficial to me. I'm obviously not the only one.

I received my info in the mail today for the 3 day for the cure walk. It's here in AZ in Nov and I think PJ and I are going to do it. I had contemplated last year, and obviously am glad I didn't considering everything that was going on. If all plays out correctly I should be in a great position health wise to do this come Nov - and would love to make this an annual tradition for us. I think it is way too important not to.

I had a long talk with God today while trodding along on the elliptical this morning. I truly feel that he helped me. That he cured me (metaphysically and physically through others here on earth). He helped me, so now I must help others. I am very clear on the message, it is so clear to me - I just don't know how yet. I get so impatient sometimes, I want the answer now, and I want to move forward. When we do this, when we get impatient, we are blinded to the messages currently coming our way. It's like seeing past the milk carton you're looking for because you think it's ahead of you - instead of right in front of you. I need to keep reminding myself that I am not on my schedule, my wants, my needs. Valid as they all seem to be, they are not to be dealt with on my schedule. When we get so centered on 'our plan' we continually block His out - which always, at least for me, leads to stress and bad hair days. (I can say that now!) I guess the point I'm making is, the more I get back into my new 'normal' life, the more I need to fight the need to control it. It comes much quicker for me though, now, giving it over to Him. And it's true, there is an instantaneous peace that accompanies that. Just still wish I didn't have to go through frickin cancer to experience this - but - oh well.
It is a gift, no matter what the package.

Need to put my man into bed, he is snoring, in a cute way, on the couch. We were both up at 5am this morning to get on line at separate schools to register Madeline for kindergarten. I can't believe she is starting 'big kid' school in the fall. She is so excited. Ginger will be 2 in a couple months - where did that time go? Wow. Never thought I would be excited to start potty training this summer - but then again, it's all about perspective. At least I'm here to do it.

God bless -