New Boobies Popping Up This Spring!

Appt w/ the plastic surgeon went well today. My surgery is scheduled for April 9th and it is outpatient (yay!) and my recovery time is way less. You only know your last experience (yikes) so I was thrilled to hear I should be able to start my fills within 3 weeks of my surgery, probably no drains (thank you Jesus) and only 2 weeks of lifting nothing over 10 lbs. Wow! I mean, I think I have experienced every possible shitty scenario - at least, I hope there are no more out there for me to experience - so this is going to be really smooth. I can just feel it. Plus, I get to really focus on the reconstruction, and feel like it's totally separated from the cancer stuff. Before, it was kinda all mixed up together, if that makes any sense.

Lately, I've been finding this blog difficult to commit to every evening, and I've been searching my soul for why that is. I'm coming up on a year since my diagnosis (4.1.09) and each day now presents itself with a new opportunity for me to discover yet another facet of this new, redefined 'me'. This happens in such subtle ways, and in dramatic ways - but it happens constantly throughout my days, it is difficult to keep track. I am still searching for what the good Lord wants me to do with this new found knowledge - this gift He has given me. Sometimes I feel like I'm headed in the right direction, sometimes not. My cancer journey has changed course now (funny, I almost typed 'ended' but that unfortunately is not true). I think I will need to come here and write at times during this reconstruction process for sure - and most definitely when I am coming upon my PET scan times - but the daily need for me to vent just isn't there anymore. I'm loving getting back to my motherly duties, so blessed to be involved in such a community that loves on me in so many ways - to have the strength to now put myself out there to help others. My Stephen Ministry training is awesome, I'm getting to go to this Avatar course at the end of this month which is going to be life changing, and I've just been asked to be the coordinator for the MOPS group. I am so blessed to be able to participate in these things. The people that surround me and my family in all of these scenarios are not by mistake - this is spiritually intentional. So I'm going to come here when I need to - I think that is what I've been trying to say. Jeez Dina, spit it out.

PJ is going to be in NYC all of next week, so that will do both of us some good - but I will miss him terribly. I'm also wicked jealous - he gets to get a decent bagel, decent pizza and most of all - Chinese food. Arg. He comes back, we have about a week and a half together then I'm gone for - 11 days. I am missing Easter with my girls - but I know I will be a better mother, a better wife, a better person for it. Still sucks - that is a long time for me.

Wanted to end this evening with my devotional for today (yes, I was a good girl and got back to these, they are so awesome) There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of cancer. I wonder if that will change too. In any case, here's what God had to say to me about that today:

REFUSE TO WORRY! In this world, there will always be something enticing you to worry. That is the nature of a fallen, fractured planet: Things are not as they should be. So the temptation to be anxious is constantly with you, trying to worm its way into your mind. The best defense is continual conversation with Me, richly seasoned with thanksgiving. Awareness of My Presence fills your mind with Light and Peace, leaving no room for fear. This awareness lifts you up above your circumstances, enabling you to see problems from My perspective. Live close to Me! Together we can keep the wolves of worry at bay.

God Bless -