The Best Valentine's Present Ever!!!

So my hubby gave me the best present ever today - a 2 hour uninterrupted nap! Ahhhhh - awesome.

We had a great time out for our anniversary on Fri - we had a lovely and fattening dinner at The Olive Garden - then I wanted to check out the casino since I had never been. I'm not really a gambler at all - I really just wanted to get a cocktail and sit and watch people. Well - we walked into this casino, Bucky's (aptly named) and I don't know what I thought I was walking into. Now, I have limited casino experience - I've been to Vegas - that's really about it. So in the back of my mind, that is kind of what I was expecting. I'm smart enough to not expect the Belagio, but I guess I had the MGM in the back of my head - that kind of 'casino' atmosphere. People - I was sorely mistaken. We walk into this 'area' - I'll call it an 'area' - lit with florescent lighting (how flattering) and this stench of cigarette smoke hits us like a brick wall. I used to smoke, for a long, long time - so I have the right to bitch about this - it was revolting. Then, sorry to say, the clientele made me hold onto my purse just a little bit tighter. And I lived in NYC for 10 years. I told PJ that this was not the MGM in Vegas, this was more like the airport in Vegas. We walked up to the cigarette machine to see how much a pack was going for nowadays for old times sake - the promptly left. If I sound like a snob explaining this, then so be it. It was disgusting.

We decided then to try this wine bar that opened recently closer to our house, and on our way I called the babysitter to see how everything was progressing. Unfortunately, she didn't answer the phone, her cell phone, or me texting her - so I promptly freaked out and we ended up going home. I think sometimes we subconsciously build things up in our head, there is just no way it could ever really be what we thought it was going to be. We had a nice dinner, the evening was just cut way shorter than we expected. Everything was fine btw - babysitter fell asleep in Madeline's bed w/ her and was sleeping so sound she didn't hear either phone. Hmm.

My girls are awesome - and they had way too much candy and cookies today - but that's what today is supposed to be, at least to me it is. They are just the best.

In my studying for my Stephens Ministry Class was have been talking about assertiveness. It's really ironic because that is kind of what I got out of the message from this mornings church service. Not being afraid to tell your story, walk the walk and talk the talk so to speak. In an exercise I did in some of my homework, it spells out these scenarios and then gives you choices of how you would typically respond in the scenarios. I consider myself a pretty assertive person, but I realized, I'm not like this in every scenario. How can I be open and not afraid to express my opinion in a group setting, but still cower when I go to return something to the store? Isn't that strange? Why is it I am able to debate with the best of them on political or justice issues, but allow myself to feel pressured into buying some stupid magazine subscription by a door to door salesman? (the fact if that was actually legitimate is still up in the air actually). I am going to start working on this, something else this portion of the class encourages you to do. And as a reminder: it's assertive, not aggressive - there's a BIG difference. I am loving this class - not only am I learning a skill set to hep people as a Stephens Minister - these are LIFE skills. Wicked cool.

I am feeling more centered and focused tonight than I've felt in a long time. The fear is way easier to control now that I talked it through with PJ - amazing how that can eat at you and eat at you - but if you just let it out, it releases so much, and gives you such a perspective that you alone can't come up with! We need each other - I need to remember that. We need each other to comfort one another, to care for one another, to love one another. Hokey sounding perhaps, but so true. Just by me coming clean with weeks of fears to someone I trust, has done wonders for my psyche. This is something I used to do weekly in my prayer circle. The benefit of that continues to surface the longer it's been since the last one. Cool thing is, they've started a weekly prayer circle at the normal time mine was for anyone who feels they need prayer. Pretty frickin cool, eh? Hey - it works. He kinda knew what he was talking about on the whole prayer issue.

Well, off to bed - holiday tomorrow, and once again, my fabulous hubby is watching the girls in the am so I can go to the gym by MYSELF!!! It will feel very strange, but cool at the same time.

God Bless -