What's That On Your Head? A Wig!!

So today was my first appointment with my oncologist. She is located in Sedona, and I have to say first and foremost - for something so yukky to be happening as cancer treatment, you couldn't have picked a more beautiful setting. It's at the hospital there as you come into town and the view of the red rock mountains is absolutely stunning.

Walking in, I felt like I couldn't believe I was sitting in the waiting room as one of these patients. I thought I was prepared for this, but I don't think I was. Everyone seemed so old, and I'm not old. Why am I here? All these frail, older people shuffling through the door for their treatment. I looked at PJ and said "when I come here for treatment, I'm doing cartwheels through that door!" I won't be one of these people, I can't be. Now, I'm not knocking these people, please don't see it that way - for I am one of them now. I am a cancer patient receiving treatment. I'm just gonna have to do this my way. And I guess I'm figuring this out each time I'm thrown into these situations.

My doctor is wonderful. Very calming, very smart - and I felt comfortable with her right away. Everyone on her staff was just lovely - and quite accommodating. She knew of my plastic surgeon and said another one of her patients used him for her reconstruction and that he had done a reconstruct on her 'tops' and she couldn't tell the difference! She said "I don't know what he used but it looked completely natural!!!" That's a plus in my favor. I'll have realistic tops - woo hoo!!! I have to admit that I wonder too what he uses for this. I would be lying if pig lips didn't come to mind. Disgusting, yes - but from my mind - quite normal.

I'm not sure how to handle people who are so emotional with me - the people close to me who see me and start crying. It's not that I'm not crying, I have a lot more of those times ahead, I'm just not crying all the time anymore. I'm really ready to fight this thing. But I feel the need to appease them, to take care of them when they see me and get upset. Unusual turn of the tables. But that's me - I don't want anyone upset, I don't want anyone put out - I want peace and harmony and happiness. All the time. See why I was in therapy for 6 years?? Oy. Hey - at least I can admit it now.

OH - this was weird, I met with the oncologist who has confirmed that I will go through chemotherapy, we will choose which concoction of chemo drugs once we know how many lymph nodes are cancerous - but I will be going through 16-18 weeks of chemo in Sedona. She didn't think radiation was going to be needed, which was surprisingly good news - and I'm a candidate for hormone therapy which is also very good news. I will start this regimen approx 3 weeks after my surgery. Then she took some blood to test my Vitamin D level (good vitamin - helps fight cancer! so take it as a supplement) and also a blood test to find the tumor marker. Malignant cells leave a path, if you will, in your bloodstream - we all have this path, but those of us with actual tumors have elevated levels. If my levels are REALLY high, there are most likely tumors elsewhere. In any case, I'm also scheduled for a pet scan on Friday morning. A full body x-ray thingy to see if there is any cancer anywhere else in my body. They shoot me full of radioactive stuff to light it up inside so to speak. Now for the weird part - suddenly as we walk out of the examining room to go get my blood drawn, there just happens to be like, 4 people around me and I'm handed a pre-filled prescription for the blood draw then another one for a wig - yes - a prescription for a wig! Who knew? So PJ and I are like - "um, where do you go to get this filled? Walgreens? Walmart?" and we are giggling at this - not in embarrassment, just in the sudden ridiculousness of it all. Then the social worker comes out and joins us - a very dramatic looking, thin woman, very bird like - and she was not really about personal space - and she's a close talker. (see Seinfeld episode) And, I thought she was wearing a wig herself, but PJ tells me no to this - I'm still not convinced - anyway - she is handing me pamphlet after pamphlet on wigs - telling me all these wonderful places to go to get one, to have one made, to have one styled, etc. Then she says they have wigs there at the office - and did I want to go get one? Everyone is looking at me waiting for me to answer - so what do I do? I look at PJ - as if to say "honey? are we in the market for a wig today?" All I could come up with was "I wasn't really prepared to do this today, perhaps later". I know what I would've done - gone and picked out a 'courtesy wig' just to be nice. Wha??? That's insane Dina!!! I'm starting to realize all these silly behaviors of mine - too funny. Anyway - it was a good appointment today, less the 'wig pressure'.

Taking Madeline to the dr tomorrow am then PJ and I are going to Phx to meet with the plastic/reconstructive surgeon tomorrow afternoon. I'll ask him about those tops. I won't ask if they're pig lips though - I'll leave that thought in my head, and here of course.