Where do I send the bill?

Ya know, you gotta just love the role insurance companies play in our daily lives - especially in times of dire need, like now for me. The lab in CA conducting the genetic test called to confirm a BART test that we requested be run. When we met with the genetics counselor, she explained the insurance did cover the general genetics test - but there is another test (of course there is!) that could be run if the results came back negative for the gene as a kind of 'super double check' if you will. Insurance won't cover that 'super double check' test - the BART - which costs $650. Well of course we want this run - when it's a question of whether I have one or both breasts removed - of course I want to make sure the results they give me are correct - wouldn't you? So the lab called me today to confirm this, and ask me where to send the bill to - isn't that funny. Yes I want the test run if it comes back negative - and yes, send the bill to someone else. (kidding) It too will stand in line with all the other medical bills accumulating. We're still paying off Ginger's birth (literally, not figuratively) so they will just have to stand in line like everyone else. We'll get to it eventually.

I'm really loving the daily walking/running routine PJ and I have arranged for ourselves. It gives each of us time during the day to get out and exercise and clear our heads. We live in Prescott Country Club located in Dewey. (I know, heh?) It really is quite beautiful up here. It's AZ so you have the scrub brush and desert landscaping, but up here you also get the pine trees, no pollution, the mountains and beautiful skyline - and the quiet. And everyone waves to you out here - what a lovely gesture. I was really kind of put off by this at first (the New Yorker in my what like 'what the f*? what do they want??') but now, I find great comfort in strangers waves to me from their vehicles as I power walk on. It's like we're all part of the same team. At first I didn't play my ipod while I walked for the first 1/2 hour or so, thinking I needed to just concentrate and focus - but - I didn't really find that happening. Like I kept waiting for the inspiring thought to come to me. Then I realized, I am and always have found inspiration from music - it can literally change my mood within seconds. So right now I am listening to a mix I put together for Madeline that we listed to in the car on the way to school. First of all, it makes me think of her - lip syncing in the kitchen to All The Single Ladies by Beyonce - and secondly - it puts me in a really great mood. Not to plug any music here - but I highly recommend 'That's Not My Name' by the Ting Tings - really fun song. We love it in our house. I guess my point is, is that a state of mind doesn't have to be a decision that you make - it can be a feeling that evolves and just becomes a part of you. Here I've been determined to keep saying to myself "you will fight this, you are strong - you will fight this, you are strong" - but saying it and feeling it are 2 different things. So I'm focusing on feeling - that seems to be working better for me right now. At least as far as getting rid of the negative thinking goes. And much to my surprise, a little 'Ting Ting' seems to go a long way!