Feeling Myself Up at Costco

I love my new fake boobs. They are so much fun. They don't slide around nearly as much as the powder puff ones did - these have some substance, it's pretty frickin cool. Ya know, I remember when I initially started this process, I did not think I was going to be one of those people who would partake in wearing these types of things. Like the hair thing, I was so not into the wig thing like I thought I would be. Felt like it was fake, like I wasn't being me, like I was lying. I don't feel this way with the boobs - and I don't really know why. I think it's healthy though, for me to wear these. It makes me excited for my upcoming surgery, and what I can look forward to, something I haven't felt at all the past 30 days. I was showing them to Madeline and she said "Hey! Can I have one and you have the other one?" I told her that it would be the right thing to do to share like that, but that mommy really needed to use both of them. They each come in their own box, and a pretty big box considering - they're about the size of a shoe box - so they look like presents. Madeline said this morning "mom - can I hold your boobies?" I am loving this. This morning Ginger greeted me while I was getting dressed and she looked up to see me without boobs on. She pointed at my chest and said "ouch". See, she does get it - even at 20 months. Amazing.

It was a good weekend, we were very busy but it was a lot of fun. PJ and I had a date night Sat night and saw Avatar in 3D - which - I must say - was the single most amazing cinematic experience I think I've ever had. It was amazing and it left both PJ and I speechless as we left the theater. Amazing. Go see it.

I removed my tape from my incisions last night and I have to say that my plastic surgeon is amazing - I thought there would be this redness line of a scar, like my c-section incision, my port incision, my oopherectomy surgery, (I have a list now) but nothing - no red line, just a simple crease - it is amazing. Now, I can only hope it will look like this after my surgery in April when they put the expanders back in - cuz that, (fingers crossed) will be the LAST surgery where I'll have to be cut in that area. The removal and implant placement will happen with an incision just under my breast I believe. I'm just so blessed to be taken care of in this manner - to have the surgeon I have.

Church on Sunday was awesome. We were reminded of why we chose this church as our church home. Pastor Nancy's message was about remembering to notice God in all things everywhere, and how we sometimes take this beauty for granted. She quoted a George Strait song that is actually PJ and I's song for Ginger - a song that was popular right when Ginger was born, that really speaks to PJ and I's journey the moment she was born, I Saw God Today. (Madeline's song is Green Day, Wake Me Up When September Ends). We are just so blessed to have this connection, a lot of people live a lifetime without feeling this, so we are blessed.

Here's to a busy week this week - glad we had today to rest up (rainy and cold all week here too). I feel silly sometimes talking here about scars or the lack of scars - when the real issue is cancer, which is gone. THAT is what is important - to be here, on this earth, and love on my kids, my family, my friends. Scars really are not so important. I choose life.

I ordered a t-shirt today that reads "Yes, they're fake. My real ones tried to kill me." Classic.

God Bless -