Menopause Mush Brain

So this weekend was good. Friday was a bit crazy as I whisked my girls to school, the Y, doctors appts, lunch, down to Phx to visit my mom cuz I really missed her, then back up here for me to prepare dinner for us and our neighbor, Terry. I think we're going to just have him here every Fri night, it is nice. Clearly, I have my energy back, and it feels really good just to be able to do all of these things - really frickin awesome. The exercising is really helping my energy level too.

We went to a panel of kindergarten teachers on Sat morning, and that was interesting as we try to choose the right school for Madeline, who starts in the fall. I can't believe she's going to big kid school. I'm having excitement for her, and sadness for me about this. I just want her to stay small.

PJ and I have had moments of just plain miscommunication, or non-communication lately and that is just sooooo not like us. I can only chalk this up to me, my brain, and how it sometimes doesn't function the way I think it is, or should. I feel like how I want to communicate in my head, doesn't come close to what comes out of my mouth - then that obviously causes frustration for me, and loads of frustration for my husband. Maybe I'm overly sensitive, maybe not - I just know that I'm deeply frustrated with these moments we've been having lately. All I know to do is go and pray about them. My fear seems to get the better of me in situations like this, so I usually need to talk myself down. I'm really good at talking to myself, I've done it all my life, and have found that simply vocalizing your thoughts or frustrations or worries - even just out loud to yourself - actually brings you the solutions. There's a huge difference between thinking things through and talking things through. Even to yourself. Long story short, I talked myself through one of these moments this weekend, in the bathroom - cried it out too. I think I had a week worth of tears built up actually, this was just a good excuse to let it out. What would we do if we couldn't cry??? It is so healing - so cleansing. I'm really good at it now too. I thought I was emotional before, now, let's put on cancer, chemo, early menopausal, no ovaries, no boobs - are we done yet??? Jeesh. I can cry on command now - I should get back to the stage. ;-)

Sat night we went out to dinner with the pastors of our church and had the BEST time. They are so frickin cool, I just can't explain it. We laughed like we haven't in a long time, and dinner was simply lovely. A little more pricey than we expected, but well worth it. We needed that in so many ways. It was lovely. We are so blessed.

Because we splurged a bit off our diet plan last night, I was off to the gym after church today to try to work some of that off - we'll see. I have a pretty busy week this week - class, Sedona on Wed for my calcium treatment, MOPS, I made an appointment finally with a bowenworks therapist to help me with my sciatic as well as my underarm on the right side - I still have no feeling whatsoever under my right arm. I was totally creeped out by it at first, now I think I'm just used to it. Try shaving somewhere you can't feel - VERY CREEPY!! Hopefully she will be able to help me with this. Then parent/teacher conference and girls night out. How awesome is it to have a full schedule??? There was a time where I would look at a week like this and sigh this 'put off' sigh - like I was upset there was so much to do - now, I am so excited just to be able to do all of these things - such a 180 - God is so good.

God Bless -