Houston? We've Got Bird!

That's right, my husband shot a turkey this weekend. He had a great time, and the only thing that would have made it better is if my father had shot one too. But, it sits now in my outside fridge, in a bag with it's feet sticking out. He showed this to Madeline, who was OK with it, but I could tell, she was perplexed. She didn't quite know how to explain that she was confused, but she was. We'll see what kinds of questions arise this week on our car trips to and from school - our BEST conversations have been happening in these car trips as of late.

I am feeling great from the surgery today - I feel almost completely healed. If only I wasn't feeling a respiratory thing coming on, I'd be pretty close to perfect. I am going to get the humidifier going right after I'm done here, get the Mentholatum on my chest, and climb into bed. Hopefully, that will do the trick.

We had a great time this weekend. My other mom, Nancy, came and spent the weekend with me to help w/ Ginger, and we just had the best time. We went to the County Fair on Saturday, and had a blast. I've posted some pics at the bottom here, so check them out. We saw the animals, and rode the rides - had a great time. I just love doing this stuff - I love being their mom more than anything in this world.

This morning Madeline and I went to church together, and Ginger and Nancy stayed home. It was pretty cool actually sitting in church w/ Madeline by my side - we've never had an opportunity to do this before, so it was special for us. We went to Costco afterwards, and anyone who lives up here knows how windy it was today. It was like, 'hold onto a telephone pole' windy here - crazy. So I'm pushing my cart, leaving Costco and Madeline is sitting in the front area where kids sit in the cart, our stuff is in the back, and I get to our car and decide to quickly put my purse on the front seat. Well, I open the door and it is so windy, the door flies open and everything in the front area is now flying out all over the place. My box of tissues goes flying, Madeline's crackers "Scooby Snacks" are flying everywhere, and here I go chasing a box of Kleenex down the parking lot when I hear Madeline yell "Mommy! The wind is taking me!!!" I turn around and sure enough, she is in the cart, strapped in, and the wind is now blowing the cart down the parking lot. I let out a little scream and go chasing my poor daughter in the shopping cart. I feel like a horrible mother and am convinced someone has caught sight of this lovely scenario and surely called CPS on me. Madeline is giggling and says "I can't wait to tell Dad about this!!" Isn't she precious. I must admit it didn't take long for me to start giggling myself, just at what this must have looked like to the passerby. Hope someone had a laugh at this today - we sure did.

PJ got home late in the afternoon, and I must say, we were so happy to see him. We missed him terribly and are glad it's us all here, together at home.

My hair is starting to come back, and it's so nice to have a hairline back. I still wear scarves and such, because it doesn't look very good, and it's obviously still a bit thinned, but it's so much more comfortable to wear nothing at home. I'm a little afraid to be honest, to grow it very long at all for fear of losing it again. I don't think I will be able to let it grown very long at all, but that is how I feel now, with this little hair I do have. When it really starts to come in full force I may feel differently, who knows.

But there's that word again: 'afraid' - bummer. It does rear it's ugly head somewhere in me from time to time. On a completely different note, I heard that a close family member of mine does not read my blog. This is fine w/ me - I understand how this kind of thing is easy for some people to read, and maybe too difficult for others. To be honest, this blog was really created for a place for me to vent - not ever to open up a two way conversation. However, me hearing this news has been on my heart since I have found out and I need to get some things out about this. The fact that she doesn't read it isn't what bothers me, the reason why she doesn't read it does. She says it's too 'religious' for her to read. My heart just sank when I heard this, and here's why. I know I get wicked spiritual here at times, and that is because that's what has spoken to me that day, at that moment. I know I never liked being 'preached' to - so I really have made a conscious effort to NOT sound this way. I try to just speak from my heart and share where my head and my heart are coming from. I am hurt by the fact that she can't read this blog just to find out how I am doing that day, or to find out what is going one with me - she only sees 'religion'. You know, I have breast cancer, and it fucking SUCKS - so I am walking through this beast, and if I need to say I'm walking through this with God, then why can't she be happy for me - whether she believes in God or not? I know plenty of people who do not believe the things that I do and still read my blog. What makes them different from her? I think I already know the answer to this, but still need to sit on this for a bit. I'm really praying on this now, because I have not been able to shake this for about a week now. I didn't even want to write about it here because it kind of breaks that third wall, something I do NOT want to do. But this is where I vent, and talk, and share and communicate the things that are in my head, my heart and my soul. So here it will be. The thing is, if anyone were to sit with me and have me explain everything that has happened to me leading up to cancer, then continue through that journey - they would have not doubt that God is at work here. But I'm not here to recruit people into believing what I do, just share and discuss my journey. If that happens to speak to you in a way you haven't thought of before, than great. IF not, than that's fine too. Not here to change anyone. But I am changing, and that is what I'm sharing. PJ just said the other day when he looked at the photo of our family, that he didn't know who that family was anymore. We are ALL different people now, and Praise God for that.

Feel like I'm beating a dead horse here, guess I feel better to get it out. I will have more to touch on with this as the week plays out. I find once I get things out, the better. Totally falling asleep now - sweet dreams everyone - hope you all had a great weekend.

God Bless -