Is This What A Corsett Feels Like?

Greetings all - Dina here. Thank much to my fabulous hubby - not only for posting for me, but for taking such wonderful care of me. I knew I was blessed, but had no idea idea just how blessed. It's like I keep getting to see how much greater my husband is. So incredibly cool, so incredibly loving - when I was little and had a picture of what 'marriage' was, I had no idea it could ever feel like this.

Anyway, I digress. Here I sit this fair Sunday evening, the Yankees just won (Hip! Hip! Jorge!!!!) and I am reclining now in my most comfy lazy boy recliner getting ready to fall asleep. Thanks to Mom for getting me this recliner - it is the most comfortable thing for me. Thank you! I'm feeling OK - sore, very sore and they have my chest strapped in this ace bandage thing so incredibly tight - I could hardly breathe when I came to on Thursday evening. Hard to speak. I think I've got accustomed to this, but this is the way it will stay until I go to my f/u appt on Thurs morning. So, you guessed it, no shower till then - arg. BUT - my day nurse at the hospital gave me a handful of these 'bathing cloths' that work really well, and my husband has been helping me. This experience, like all the others I've had with cancer, has humbled me yet again. Really weird to not be able to wash yourself - makes you realize what you are made of, from the inside out. Imagine, having someone wash you because you can't do it yourself - surreal, seriously.

I've been on pain meds since Thurs - they had me on morphine in the hospital which made me incredibly nauseous. After I couldn't get my night nurse to bring me the anti nausea meds fast enough, I asked for something else. So it's been Percocet ever since. I've been good about taking them, and they've been managing the pain just fine. It's hard to tell sometimes if it is the surgery that is hurting or the wrap that hurts - it is seriously tight. And yes, I have 2 drains on either side of my chest. They are suction drains, and look like little plastic grenades attached to skinny tubes. When your body has a void in it (something gets removed, like tissue) it wants to fill this void and balance it out - so it fills it with fluid. We don't want this to happen, thus the super tight wrap, and the drains. So PJ empties my drains ever 4-5 hours and we have to keep track of how much fluid comes out of each one, then report that to the dr on Thurs. If it is normal and on track, I hopefully will have the drains removed at my appt on Thurs. So I'm prayin for that. Again, this experience is most humbling. The drains aren't as gross as I thought they would be, but, I won't be sad to see them go, that is for sure. The camisoles I got at Tinas Treasures are just perfect, the have pockets inside them to hold the drains. Perfect.

So this is the new normal. I almost got used to it at the hotel. That really was just the best idea, I'm so glad my first couple of days were spent there. It was quiet and safe and comfy. Just perfect. I'm so glad to be home now, but it just kills me to hear Ginger crying for me to hold her and I can't. She doesn't understand, and it just breaks my heart. I know, we'll all get accustomed, it's just hard.

What a blessing my family and friends are - once again. Nancy and my Dad for taking care of my kids while we were in Phx, Jennifer and Amy for taking Madeline home, Nancy and Amy for chasing my dog when it ran out the door (I am sooo sorry - she is such a shit sometimes), Sean and Joe for bringing me that wicked cool toilet seat thingy and table and donuts and coffee, my mom for bringing me such snuggly pajamas and food all weekend, Tracey for coming and spending time chatting with me on Sat, and everyone who prayed for me and sent me good vibes. Once again, they obviously worked. The power of prayer is so amazing, I am living proof - literally.

Getting fuzzy headed now, so I will sign off. I'm trying to prepare my brain and my ego to accept serious help for the next 5 weeks. I can't lift anything heavier than 10 lb - so Nancy is going to be my guardian angel here with Ginger, and PJ will be Mr. Mom taking Madeline to school for some time. Gotta let go. Gotta let God work his magic through these fabulous people in my life.

I thank you all for your thoughts, your prayers, your well wishes. I am doing just great because of them. Have a great week everyone & God Bless -