God is so good, it almost makes me pee myself!!!

Well, as you can probably ascertain, the results from my PET scan came in and they are 'negative'. No cancer. Anywhere. It's gone. My oncologist told me she loved me and that I needed to keep doing what I was doing. I am overwhelmed. I have been laughing and crying intermittently since this phone call this evening. Yes, she called me at 6:45 in the evening. She my friends, is an angel. In the truest sense of the word. I am convinced of this.

I guess I kinda assumed this would be the case after my surgery and after the path report, but there is that fear factor that just frickin hangs around.

Maybe I HAVE been drinking too much diet coke? Is that it?
I should have been drinking more water.
I haven't been eating enough vegetables.
I haven't prayed hard enough the last couple of weeks.
I've already asked God for so much.
Why should I be spared when so many others aren't.
Why am I so special?
Is my hair curling again?
Can I just have a little more hair before I have to start this whole thing over again?


All these things and tons more, going through my mind within the last 24 hours whilst carting my children around town to school and such and Christmas shopping. This is surreal. To look back at this year, it is simply amazing. It is a miracle - no shit. It doesn't happen that I am stage IV in April 2009 and cancer free in Dec 2009 without some form of divine intervention. Seriously. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

I called my mom, my dad & Nancy, Jennifer (my front liners) - I thanked each of them for standing by me through this journey. (I know it's not entirely over, it never will be, but maybe the real shitty part is) I couldn't have taken care of myself, physically or spiritually without them, or any of you reading, or everyone who called, posted these amazing notes to me on my blog, emails, who sent me cards, money, time, food, everything. Because of you, the walking will of God, I am here. Thank you.

I've said 'shit' like 3 times already in this post - apparently digging the brown word this evening. Hmmmm.

I think it's a 2 glass of wine night tonight, so I am going to partake. Oh yea, and wrap Christmas presents, pay bills, address cards, blah blah blah - life goes on - THANK GOD!!!

God Bless -