Lesson Learned - Don't Buy Premade Food on Sale.

Ok, so isn't this just frickin karma? I get this awesome news last night then around, oh, 10:30ish, I feel sick. I'm wrapping presents and I told PJ I needed to stop and just go to bed that I felt so bad. Now, also, my chest muscles on my left side (the side that isn't healing properly) started aching last night too, around 5pm or so. Didn't really know why. So I wake up this morning, like 3am and I'm shivering with fever. Scared the shit out of me. I was convinced my incision was infected and my body was reacting. As I think it turns out, I believe me to have had food poisoning from the premade food at Costco. Now, I've bought this before, but I've never bought the food that said '$3 off at the register!'. That's cuz they need to get rid of it because IT'S OLD!!! So I won't be partaking in chicken Parmesan anytime in the near future. Now, the pain in my chest? I forgot that when I went for my PET scan, you have to raise your arms above your head and keep them that way for about 30 minutes. Yikes. Now I did this, but realized this morning I hadn't done this at all since my surgery. Considering my expanders are literally sewn into my chest muscle (yuk) no wonder it is sore. Both sides are sore now, so I know this had to be it. My fever was gone around 11:30 this morning, and I literally slept all day. Thank you God for my husband being able to pinch hit, yet again, with my kids while I rest and get better.

I felt better this evening, which is good because I went for my first haircut tonight. I was so excited. Well, as excited as you can be coming off a food poisoning binge. I went to a lady my friend Lara recommended and I'm so thrilled to look like I have a little style now. So cool. Then I had a meeting at my church as I've put in my application to be trained to become a Stephens Minister. No, I won't be preaching from the pulpit (yet), what this is is a kind of christian based counselor - confidentially assigned to people in crises to act as their friend, confidant, spiritual caregiver of sorts. Someone to listen. I'm so excited to become a part of this division of my church. To give back, and learn from others and hopefully help them too.

Although I was not feeling up to par, there was a little extra spring in my step this evening. It feels so good, and so unreal too, to be cancer free. Now I really get to say I HAD cancer. I'm going to have to practice that.

So, meant to write the day I had my PET scan, because the passage from my devotional was so comforting. I read it just before I went in, and I am still going to share it here, because I think it is so dead on -

Take time to be Holy. The word Holy does not mean goody-goody; it means set apart for sacred use. That is what these quiet moments in My Presence are accomplishing within you. As you focus your mind and heart on Me, you are being transformed: re-created into the one I designed you to be. This process requires blocks of time set aside for communion with Me.

The benefits of this practice are limitless. Emotional and physical healing are enhanced by your soaking in the Light of my Presence. You experience a nearness to Me that strengthens your faith and fills you with Peace. You open yourself up to receive the many blessings that I have prepared for you. You become a cleansed temple of My Holy Spirit, who is able to do in and through you immeasurably more than you ask or imagine. These are just some of the benefits of being still in My Presence.Now, not only did I find great comfort of this reminder as I went into have my test - it also reminded me of my PJ - who is in the same kind of spiritual quandary as many are I imagine. He has a hard time the the whole 'letting go' thing. And I totally get that - I fall into that too sometimes, I think we all do, we're human. But I wish people could experience the feeling of doing this just to 'test it out' for a time or two. I did it for the first time with my diagnosis - because I literally realized I had no where else to turn. I'm not saying that I hadn't ever come to God before then, I'm just saying that the way I thought I had been coming to him, was not the way it was supposed to be. You literally have to sit, speak with Him, and give Him all your worry, your fear, your questions that are unable to be answered by anyone, and trust. Trust he will do what's right. That is frickin HARD. I think that is where people's apprehension is - like it's giving up or something. But it's not, it's being at peace with the situation, acting in the best human way you know how, and trusting God to give you the result. I just wish everyone could feel what I felt when I did this, such peace. Hard, painful, but then peace.

Off to bed now, got the Christmas cookies made. I think my body is on healing overload, so I need all the rest I can get. The next couple days are full of holiday cheer and such, so off to bed with me.

Hope everyone is enjoying the season. God Bless