I Was In The Pool!!!!!

Gotta love Seinfeld, eh? Speaking of shrinkage, my appointment today went very well. It was relatively quiet, which was a nice change, and we were able to have a room all to ourselves and got to chit chat with some of the nurses about this and that sporadically throughout my treatment. I always love hearing about them and who they are - besides my nurses. Fiona was there today, and I think she has to be one of my favorites. She's just so cool. Anyhow, my doctor and I spoke today of the upcoming future, and I asked if everything goes as planned, could I possibly look at Dec for my surgery, as, unfortunately, my deductible replenishes at the first of the year, and I'd rather not be subject for another $5k if I don't have to be. She said absolutely, in fact, I could even have it a bit sooner. Now, I don't want to get too excited here, but if this next scan is what I hope it will be, this lesion on my liver will be gone. Which would mean I may be able to stop chemo a bit earlier than expected. We'll see - everything is based on this upcoming scan. Gotta get to prayin!!! Then she said that the scar tissue in my right breast had really shrunk since last week - weird! Last week it had grown a bit, but this week it has shrunk quite a bit. Maybe my boob pain was shrinkage? I was in the pool!!!!!!!!

I've elected to move forward with the double mastectomy - which has mixed data attached to it. I know that in stage IV breast cancer, since the cancer has already spread, some people, in fact most people with an opinion on this subject, don't think surgery is needed. Now, my doctor feels that a mastectomy of the right breast is recommended. However, just the mere thought of going through a mastectomy, then possibly having it show up in the other breast, even if it is years later - sounds like a horrendous experience. I want to cut my losses up front. And, to be honest, this decision is way easier now after going through chemo than it was before I knew I had stage IV. So, when I get the go ahead from my oncologist, I'm going to move forward with the double mastectomy before the end of the year. From what I've heard, the surgery itself is not that bad, but the reconstruction, which I am having done at the same time, is the bitch. They put in 'expanders' to slowly stretch the breast skin out to your desired size, then replace it with an implant. The difference between this surgery and a normal implant surgery, is I've had a mastectomy which removed all my breast tissue, which is what normally holds the implant in place. Since mine will be gone, they have to place the expander under the chest muscle. Yea, Ouch - that's what I said. So, healing is rough with this. But, I can handle it. I'll need some help for a bit, but I can handle it. I think my friend who had this done said it best, she said, "I felt like a turtle flipped over, not able to get up". You don't realize how much you use your chest muscles just to get around all day. At least I know this going in, and hopefully I'll have some pretty good pain pills I'm sure.

It's been a day of lots of discussions of what's coming up in this journey of mine. PJ and I have connected today on a really great level. We looked at our calendars and have started planning what we want to accomplish with ourselves, our house, our family. We kissed each other today more than we have in months - it was lovely. It feels good to have goals - and we are so excited to take Madeline to Disneyland for her birthday. We're going on my off week which is week after next, and we're just so excited. She already colored a picture for Mickey Mouse - how sweet.

Thank you to all of you who read, who pray, who give me inspiration and good thoughts. I love it and read it all - and am so blessed to have such wonderful people to connect with. Need to go take my Tylenol PM for the evening,


God Bless -