Look Mom! She's a pirate!!

Now, this is what a little boy, I'd say around 5 or 6 said to his mommy as they passed me and my girls in Walmart today. I laughed and said "You're right! I do look like a pirate don't I?" His mother was beside herself, but we all laughed. See, I've just started wearing bandanas now for the most part. They are the coolest in the warm weather - to me anyway. Not to mention when my lovely hot flashes emerge, these seem to be the best to sweat in, since I have to choose such a thing. But they do make me look, well, like a pirate I guess. At least according to 5-6 year old boys. Maybe I should add an eye patch and a plastic parrot on my shoulder and see what comments I get then. Where does one purchase a plastic parrot? Hmmmm.

I think I've come to the conclusion that at this stage in my treatment (cycle 4) I don't think I am physically bouncing back to 100% like I used to. I mean, it would make sense, because of the amount of treatments, that I just haven't felt 100% since like, cycle 2 I think. If I had to put a percentage on it, I'd say that for the past 3 weeks or so, I've never been better than say, 80%. And ya know - if this is what I have to feel like through the next 2 cycles, then so be it. It's a bummer, cuz I never feel really good at all - but I feel better, then I feel yukky. Specifically, it's like I feel fine, then I feel like I'm getting sick, but I'm not. Then I feel tired, then I feel fine. Then it starts all over again. This goes through about 2-3 cycles of this a day. It's frustrating, because you think you're feeling better, then BAM - you're not. But, I'm going to quit bitching here, because first of all, who wants to hear that shit, and secondly, it doesn't do any good. Certainly doesn't make me feel any better, so let's just grin and bear it and get through it. After this weeks treatment, I only have 6 left - pretty cool eh? Trust me, I'm counting them down.

I am concerned about this third treatment in the cycle, which is usually a doosey, and our trip to CA which we leave on Thurs. I just pray that it won't be as bad as it has been in the past, and I'm still able to enjoy myself. I would hate to be sick the whole time we're there - not to mention on a six hour car ride with 2 children. Yipee!!!!

My girls have been real clingy to me lately, and I have to admit - I love it. To have both of them run to hug me in the morning, to want me to hold them all the time, to each of them wanting me to put them down to bed - it feels so wonderful. They are so awesome. We went shopping today and got some school/vacation stuff - Madeline is wearing a size 10 shoe - what the hell? When did this happen? She got a new pair of tennis shoes today and a Minney Mouse nightgown with matching slippers. She wore it as soon as we got home this afternoon. She is so cute.

Well, I'm going to get some sleep - PJ is being initiated into the Mason's tomorrow night, so I'll get an evening to myself which I'm actually looking forward to - no offense to him. I've been working on my testimony for MOPS and I'll finally have an opportunity to finish it up. It has been very difficult to write and I've written it in a thousand different directions, but I know it will come together and be exactly what it is supposed to be.

God Bless -