We've Arrived!!

Well, here we are. We made it to sunny (although overcast right now) CA yesterday just before 7pm. Not bad considering we left around 12:30 and stopped once in Blythe (ok, ew!) to stretch our legs and get something to eat. My girls did just awesome and thank you dear Jennifer, the present thing worked like a charm. And the movies were awesome. Not only is it great to have really smart and caring friends, it's also good to have friends with kids just a little older than your own - assuming they're good parents (and Jennifer and her hubby are AWESOME parents) they give you the best advice on what's coming up developmentally for your own kids. Like having an "in" on the kid market, so to speak. Long story short - it went great, no problems.

This drive to CA was one I haven't taken in let's say, 12 years. We used to drive this every summer to my grandparents when I was a kid, as it was really nostalgic for me to take this drive, and to take it with my husband. The little things you remember as a kid - and how LONG the drive felt as a kid. It's so funny how everything seems so different, and monumental to us as children. For some of us, I guess it still all is. ;-)

We arrived to the beautiful home of PJ's aunt and uncle, who have graciously taken us in for this trip, thank you God. Their home is simply lovely. So warm, inviting and just 'comfy'. We had a lovely dinner outside of barbecued hamburgers, then it started to hit me. I was feeling REALLY awful last night. I had forgotten the Zometa portion of my treatment gives me feverish, flu-like symptoms - and they came on full force. Why did I forget this? How long have I been receiving treatment now? Duh Dina! I think it just took me by surprise because I didn't really get these side effects until Fri mornings normally and this was coming a bit early. Plus to be in new surroundings is always a bit unnerving. But I must say, once I got myself into bed, I prayed like no one's business - talking to God about my fear, to keep me peaceful and to assure me that I was still in a safe place to be sick - that although I wasn't 'home', I was in the next best thing. I woke up early this morning, feeling much better. Tired, but not nearly what I was last night and during the night. So I think I'm on the mend now. PJ has taken the girls all day today while I rest and gather up my strength. I'm blogging now cuz it was a good time to do so - on this trip I'll have to blog when I get time. Cuz 'Ya never know when you gotta jam'. (line from The Breakfast Club - so perfect)

This last 24 hours has made me realize now close I hold the comfort of my own home so dear to my heart. The security and sanctity of your own home and surroundings are really quite comforting. I was a bit in fear of this last night, but really worked through it through prayer. It didn't hurt that I was sleeping in the most comfy bed you could imagine - nothing like a billowy down comforter to give you a little comfort power! I also realized that since this whole cancer thing started, there have been circles of layers of people created. Kinda like the 'circle of trust' in Meet The Fockers, there's this inner circle of people, like my dad and Nancy, Jennifer, my prayer circle friends, these people are the closest because they see me all the time and I am my most comfortable around. Then the second layer is my mom, Britt, Sean and Joe - the people I want to see every day but don't - so there's that moment of 'oh they haven't see me without my eyelashes yet' kind of instant awkwardness, but then quickly gone. Then there's the third layer of people, who are family too but just not used to seeing this different 'Dina' so the moment of awkwardness lasts a bit longer, but then settles into a comfortable scenario - then the last one is the general public, or people I don't really know all that well who just feel awkward and I stand there feeling weird at first then just not caring. That has started to come in full force, and this is something Aunt Karen and I spoke about last night briefly - she mentioned I've been blessed enough through this experience to get to experience the whole 'change of life thing' early on - the feelings of menopause, at least for me, of really connecting to yourself as a woman, and realizing it's more about how YOU feel, as opposed to looking to other people's reactions to know how to feel. I'm learning to tune into how I feel inside as a woman, and gear my feelings from there, rather than get myself all dolled up in the morning (did I really just type that word? 'dolled'?) to present myself to other people and see what they do and don't approve of before I decide what kind of day I'm having, or how I'm going to feel about myself that day. Amazing. What tremendous insight.

So I've been sleeping most of today, but am up now and everyone else is taking their afternoon naps. I think naps are required by everyone who goes on vacation. I love naps, and I love that part of this cancer journey includes naps - cuz they are the best. What mom doesn't want to take a nap all the time! I know, you're jealous. But sorry - you have to have cancer to actually get designated naps whenever you want them, so rethink your jealousy!! ;-)

I haven't read any of my devotionals for the last 24 hours, so I don't have anything to share there - but I did see someone sharing part of the last devotional I talked about on Facebook - and that makes me happy. I think Facebook could use a little devotional time every now and then, don't you?

Bye for now, I'll write again when the moment presents itself. Thank you for your continued prayers and good vibes - and here's to strength for Disneyland come Monday!!

God Bless -