Ohhhh, sexy steroid lady - got have some of that!

So I think that everyone getting ready to go on vacation that involves driving for 4 or more hours with a 3 and 1 year old needs to 'try on cancer' for a spell. Seriously, you gain a HUGE sense of not sweating the small stuff when you have cancer, which really made the trip so not a big deal to me - which, I think subconsciously made it not a big deal to my kids to be in the car for 6 1/2 hours. They rocked - and so did I if I must say so myself. With a little help from my friends (thank you Jennifer) I was able to divert attention when needed and it was really a great time had by all.

SPONTANEOUS THOUGHT!!!!
I think I'll do a Top Ten List -

Things I liked about my summer vacation: (by Dina Mountcastle)

10. Keeping my children from running directly into the ocean.

9. Having my husband mention he was able to see my ass in the rear view mirror every time I had to get up to get something for the girls.

8. Having MOM stitched on my Mickey Mouse ears.

7. The look on Ginger's face as her fingers poked right into a fresh garden tomato, when she thought it was a red ball.

6. Madeline telling us she was tired of being patient and wanted her balloon.

5. Ordering a 'mellow glass of red wine' off the menu at a restaurant in Newport Beach.

4. Having Ginger rest her head on my chest as we watched Disney fireworks.

3. Pirates of the Caribbean. (even though they've added these stupid Johnny Depp mannequins)

2. Arguing with PJ that Mr. Toad's Wild Ride is NOT scary.

1. Madeline telling me after Mr. Toad's Wild Ride - "I don't ever want to go on that again!"

That was fun - and also outlined the major highlights. Something else that was also fun, was blending into a crowd. Well, as much as I can. It's so interesting, I get the 'oh she has cancer look' then I get the 'oh my god, she has cancer and has children!' look. One thing I did finally get was someone to outwardly laugh at my 'MMMM.......Chemo" shirt. The chick at MAC who helped me read it then like, couldn't help herself - it was the most real reaction I've had from anyone through this whole experience. Like if she could have caught herself, she wouldn't have laughed, but it's like the shirt took her by surprise. Very cool.

I had to give a mini 'testimony' at my MOPS leadership meeting, and it wasn't as hard as I had built it up to be in my head. I know I have much more to tell, this was kinda the summarized version, but although I'm not entirely sure of what I said (part chemo brain, part nerves) I think I expressed myself well. That's what I want to be sure of, that I'm able to explain myself correctly, and that my experience is relayed to the best of my ability. I stress that I can't find the words - and not just about this, in general lately.

Now, does anyone else know about this NetiPot thing? Have you heard of this? It's this little plastic pot, looks like a teapot, and you fill it with warm water, put in this natural powder stuff that is NOT bad for you, then you pour it through your nasal passages and it is supposed to just flush all the gunk out of you - it works!!! I mean, I just started, but haven't needed Tylenol PM since, so there's got to be something to this thing. Aunt Karen told me about this, and my oncologist had actually mentioned it too when I was in last complaining about my sinuses. This is like, the latest craze or something - but it is awesome. And, they're pretty darn cute to boot. Who knows, maybe we will all start asking - 'Hey, do you Neti?' If someone asks you that, at least you'll know what they're talking about. They need to make them in different colors though - cuz I really want a pink one.

I digress - I have my PET scan in the morning. PET scans show active cancer cells. This is the test when they found it had already spread back in April, much to everyone's surprise. Here's how it will go. I can't have anything but water, lots of water, 6 hours before the test. Then I go and sign in, and they inject me with this radioactive/sugar stuff (cancer loves sugar) and put me in a dark room for about 20 min while it settles in (dark room is so I will just relax and sleep - no active brain activity). Then they put me on a slab, covered in blankets cuz it's wicked cold in there, and then I go through this tube for scanning. The scan itself doesn't take long, it's all the prep and getting the injection stuff that takes most of the time. Now, the key to this is, if my dr calls and says she wants to see me, that's bad - if she calls and gives me news over the phone - that is wicked good. So, let's pray for no cancer, and that she doesn't want to see me - no offense to her, because I love her, just don't want to see her about this. k?

I feel good - deep in my heart I feel at peace with whatever this test brings, but the memory of the last one of these I had keeps creeping in. Can't help it, you are your last experience with stuff, right? Well, I'm trying real hard to NOT be that way.

Keep the prayers coming, I'll let you know when I know.

Just read this part in Psalms 139:13 'You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body, and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!' I love that.

God Bless.