Be Careful What you Wish for.........

So, remember when I said I was praying for patience and to just let all this stuff shake out the way it was supposed to because I wanted things to move faster? Well, guess what?

Ok, so last treatment right? Totally awesome and bittersweet. So, I had already decided in my appointment with my doc to ask her if maybe since I had to wait 4/5 weeks for my surgery, could I possibly start my hormonal therapy now, just want to make sure there's none of that now evil estrogen re-growing to make these cancer cells go "Hey! Yum! Want that!" I didn't even get a change to ask this question. My doc is just the best - and long story short, but she consulted with another brilliant doc in TX who had a similar patient to me, and I'm going to have my ovaries out BEFORE my mastectomy. Wha?? Yup. In fact, by 4pm today - this surgery was booked - for next Friday! They are hopefully going to be able to do this laproscopically - if you can even believe that. I would like to go ahead and have a full hysterectomy, but we'll see - I have to consider I'm going under for a major surgery in just a couple more weeks. So we need to minimize the recovery and invasivness. Is this crazy of what?? I have my pre-op this Friday! Wow. So - yea, there we have it. Talk about cleaning house, eh? I end chemo, have my ovaries and possibly uterus removed, get on the hormonal pill, then have a mastectomy. All before Halloween! So like I said, be careful what you pray for - cuz it looks like there is no rest for the weary now.

I have to say, I'm kinda bummed that I'm not going to get to relax just a bit before the mastectomy. I was really starting to look forward to just being off chemo, and getting my strength back. I'll just have another distraction now I suppose. I haven't even begun to wrap my brain around losing my girl parts. They brought me my 2 beautiful children, so I suppose they served their purpose. But I just loved being pregnant. Isn't is ironic that the one thing that helped me have them, could now possibly kill me. Strange.

OH OH OH - I forgot the super cool part to this!! My doc, called this other really super smart doc in Phx who runs this clinical trial lab for breast cancer, the kind of place people seek out all over the world - and it's right down there in Phx! Anyhoo, she called them to talk about me, and they are going to take the tumor from my breast and quick send it over to this lab for testing - then, with this fresh tissue, then can get a MAP of my cancer - they can learn about it and find out why it traveled to where it traveled! Is that frickin cool or what? So, this is helping all those ladies who have the same kind of cancer as I have, AND, they have tons more information about my cancer God forbid should I have a re occurrence. How cool is this?? I went ahead and signed the papers for this as well so they can get in touch with my surgeon. I totally envision some small sweaty man waiting in the operating room with an Igloo cooler - then taking my boob tissue and whisking away in his Plymouth Horizon - to deliver my right boob to the lab. (cue Wicked Witch music from the Wizard of Oz) So, very cool to be a part of this.

Oh, and the really fun part - I get to say the R word as soon as I have my mastectomy. I get to say REMISSION. I'm so excited, I just can't stand it.

I was sharing my 'old lady list' from my previous post with one of my nurses today, and she was laughing and saying "at least you don't like that jello with the carrots in it!". I didn't even think there was a bright side to that list, until now - No, I have no desire for the jello with the carrots.

Obviously God had a plan for me here - I will have all this done, and over with all by years end. My mind, is spinning. PJ and I are feeling very overwhelmed tonight, as we also have to organize getting his father's estate in order. We have to get his house prepared to be put on the market, which means we need to go in and start cleaning. And, this is just something I do and organize really well - so we're going to have to down to Phx once a week until my mastectomy to get this done. We are just praying that I will have the ovarectomy laproscopically. IF he has to cut me open for this, I'm going to be laid up for awhile. Much like my c-section. So, we're praying for this. Needless to say, we're a little overwhelmed. Our calendar went from pretty open to completely full in a matter of an afternoon. So, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride is on. We are very grateful too, do not be mistaken. I am again overwhelmed with gracious gratitude and the speed in which all of these doctors work and are making this all happen for me. I am awe struck. What a blessing all these hands at work are on my behalf. What a blessing.

I asked for God to lay out the plan of action for me, and look what he's done. I'm right here on board with you Lord, no problem. So I skipped ahead one day on my devotional, and you need to hear this, it is amazing.

" You will not find My Peace by engaging in excessive planning: attempting to control what will happen to you in the future. That is a commonly practiced form of unbelief. When your mind spins with multiple plans, Peace may sometimes seem to be within your grasp; yet it always eludes you. Just when you think you have prepared for all possibilities, something unexpected pops up and throws things into confusion.

I did not design the human mind to figure out the future. That is beyond your capability. I crafted your mind for continual communication with Me. Bring Me all your needs, your hopes and fears. Commit everything into My care. Turn from the path of planning to the path of Peace."
Well, I am living proof of this tonight. I turned it over, and it took flight. It is scaring the shit out of me, but I trust it.

Having some yukky heartburn, so must lie down. Thank you all for your continued prayers - they are and have been working. Again, I am proof of that. Prayer works. We thank God every evening for the people who put our needs above their own and pray for us. We are so grateful and blessed.

God Bless -