To Witness Another Miracle

So treatment was really awesome today, as awesome as receiving chemotherapy can be, everything went smoothly and I got to hug my oncologist. That was pretty great. My blood count was once again great, no issues, and even confirmed that from last week as well. I'm so blessed. Yea!

It was a bit busy, so we had to double up in chemo pods again, and we sat with someone we've seen since we started coming, but never had a chance to get to know, until today. He is our age, and was given the news by our oncologist that his PET scan too, came back with no metabolic activity. At first I felt like I was intruding on this moment, but then watched he and his wife absorb this moment, and cried right along with them. How wonderful. How frickin wonderful. We all just talked and shared our stories with each other - it's almost like the initial reservations you usually have when meeting someone new are completely disregarded in these scenarios. We all just cut to the quick with each other - and get right to the facts. What kind of cancer do you have, how did you find it, what is the prognosis, does chemo make you feel this, or that - that didn't happen to me but this did, blah blah blah. Very emotional and personal conversations with people right away. It's pretty awesome to get to know each other in this way. It's quite nice to blow past all the bullshit. In any case, it was clear to PJ and I that we were not meant to meet these people, even though he was diagnosed right when I was, in April, until today. What a blessing that we met today, on such a monumental day for them. God Bless.

So I have my appointment scheduled with my surgeon in Phx on Monday. I'm pretty excited to get this ball rolling. Not sure if I'll need to schedule another appointment with my reconstructive surgeon, my main surgeon will steer that for me. Looks as though they will need to take out lymph nodes, something I was really hoping to avoid since the PET came back clear on that issue. Again, we'll discuss this with the surgeon, but my oncologist seems to feel a few will need to be taken. Bummer. But, whatever is the safest for me and supports no re occurrence, I'll deal with the rest of it.

I'm nervous about this new direction, and nervous about stopping chemotherapy. There's a sick comfort in going and having treatment that makes you feel like shit, but is killing the disease inside you. Not going regularly to kill this disease is making me a little nervous. Here comes that trust word again. Gotta just let go, and trust. Still playing an active part, but trying to play it positively, and with trust. Woo - that's tough right now.

Well, I'm out to work on the chemo-cam footage - in the yukky bug filled garage - wish me luck. My poor husband gets to listen to me bitch about this all night - I predict a lot of eye rolling and sighing - pray for him.

God Bless -