Big Mac Attack - How cliche'

My little Madeline had a stomach bug today. Just a little one, but it woke PJ and I up around 4am this morning. She was in our bed (on his side, thank you God) and she threw up. As I jumped out of bed to rush across to the other side of the house to get a rag, I hear him saying from our bathroom 'this smells just horrible!' and I started laughing to myself thinking 'duh! it's throw up! What do you think it's supposed to smell like?'. See - I have handled this in the past, not Dad, so this was new territory for him. She was ok - but we were basically up for the morning. She had a couple small spells throughout the day, but was still trying to do back flips off the couch, so I think we're ok.

How much do I just love that this happened? Not that Madeline is sick, not that at all, just the fact that life doesn't stop. It all just keeps happening, keeps going, and I still have to be called to be the best mommy to her that I know how to be - and for those moments I completely forget about my cancer, and that is really nice. Those are my best vacations from this thing, when I'm called to be what I was meant to be in this world. Pretty cool.

Speaking of cool, I took my niece to the prayer circle today, which was awesome, as usual. And here's what Hailee had to say when we walked out "That was intense! That was the coolest thing I've ever experienced, I'm so glad I came". Now, for a 16 year old, albeit mature 16 year old, to call my prayer circle 'cool' - I am beyond ecstatic for this for so many reasons. I don't know what I thought she would think, I know I wanted to try to explain it to her so she'd be prepared, and give her the choice to come if she wanted. That's about all I knew I wanted to accomplish. I'm just thrilled she got it. She said she felt so good about who I am and who I have surrounded myself around with out here, and that made me feel good too. We had a great conversation on the way home. I knew we were close, but this really just brought it all home for us. I love her so much and I HATE that she has to see me going through this at 16 - but she is an amazing young woman, and I know she will do great things in this life. How blessed I am to know her.

I can't even explain how much these Tues prayer times prepare me for this continued fight. It is indeed continuous, and there are so many things that I endure, and have had to become accustomed to, that just plain suck through this process - and these times remind me to keep on going. For this, I will be forever grateful. I don't much feel like getting into detail of some of the physical side effects that I am sadly just getting used to now - they are really personal, embarrassing, and just plain yukky. Who knows, maybe later - but now, no. And sometimes I think now, just three more months, you can do it! Then I get afraid to count on 3 more months, then I know that this is working and there is just as much of a chance that 3 more months very well may do it, as much as there's a chance that it won't - flip, flop, flip, flop, flip, flop. It is never ending. Then I calm myself, get quiet, and just be at peace. Whatever happens, I'm going to be just fine. I know it.

So - in my 'roid rage' this evening, I've sent my husband for a Big Mac. Yes, it's 10:30 pm and he went to get me a Bic Mac. I am married to the greatest man on the face of this earth. He did this for me when I was pregnant (and in Queens that is true love my friend) and he's doing it for me now. It's his birthday tomorrow, and he gets to spend it watching me at treatment having all 3 drugs. Lucky him. I have some special b-day donuts for in the morning, and we're going to drive Hailee down to Phx tomorrow night, and my mom has a little bash waiting for him - he deserves a little celebration too I think. I am so blessed once again. He takes such good care of me. He and I are closer now than we ever have been. And I must say, with Hailee here, we have all laughed more this week than we have done in quite awhile. Lovin the Laughter.

Thanks for your prayers and good thoughts - long treatment tomorrow so wish me luck. Game On! and Chemo Cam is charged and ready to go....

Oh - I've posted a couple pics of my niece and my kids from this weekend. We have had the best time, we will miss Hailee so much. God Bless -