In the voice of the Swedish Chef from the muppets "mmm Port Port Port!!"

Today's treatment went well - very long - but well. I didn't even have those hot arms feelings this time like I had last time - so that was a blessing. The unfortunate part was that we got there at 10:30 and didn't leave until 4:00 - long day because they were wicked busy. And that, I found, to be very sad. I can't believe all these people have cancer - they all have stories, they all have lives to lead, they all have family member there supporting them and loving them. I guess I could see this as good, that they all are receiving treatment as well, but I was overwhelmed with just a sense of sadness, that any of this was happening in the first place. We were all doubled up in the treatment areas, so I got to meet Phillis today - she's from Cornville. She told me her whole story, and was very vocal in asking me about mine. She had a mastectomy and was going through preventative treatment - 6 treatments every 3 weeks. She said to me as I was telling her my story, that she was 'lucky' that she was diagnosed at age 58, that her kids were grown already and didn't have little ones like me. She also told me as I was telling her my story, that she was 'lucky' that hers was caught early and hadn't spread yet, like mine. I heard these comments, but continued to answer her questions - and then felt - hey - I'm lucky too dammit - I'm lucky to have my family, my friends, the chemo and medical staff around me and to now know it is all working, my God by my side guiding me through this - I'm pretty frickin lucky myself thank you very much. Jeez - she obviously was reassuring herself of her own fears with these comments. I know, I am a young woman with a serious illness, and some people find that a serious threat to their own mortality. Some people get scared, and this is the only way they know to react. It's cool - I don't need a strangers reassurance, I've got plenty of other those in place for me already.

So I need to share something very sweet that happened this morning when I woke up. I got up before everyone else (I LOVE when this happens - the house is so quiet) and decided I would take a shower. When I got out, Madeline was sitting there waiting for me. I got her to the potty and we started chatting. She looked on my vanity and she saw my bracelets that I wear every day - she said "Mommy, these are beautiful jewels - where did you get them?" and I said "yes, they are beautiful - these are jewels from some friends of mine. They gave them to me because they know I am sick and it makes me feel better. With these, and my family and friends, and the dr's, and the medicine, and God - Mommy is going to get better" and Madeline promptly responded "and Jesus too Mom - don't forget him!" Is that not the most precious thing ever? I told her she was right, and that I wouldn't forget him. ;-)

I was given some great news today on my length of treatment. My oncologist said that considering the last ct scan, I will most likely be done with chemotherapy in 6 total treatments. That would mean I would be done in Oct of this year, then switch to hormonal therapy. I can't even tell you how elated I was to hear this news. We would then talk about my surgery, and she said we would really need to discuss her thoughts, my thoughts, and my surgeons thoughts on if I still needed a double mastectomy at this point - since I was convinced that is what I needed in the beginning, before we knew of the metastasis. She felt a mastectomy of the primary site only, my right breast, would be needed. This, my dear friends, is a miracle in of itself. I'm going to ask for another CT scan end of Aug, then another obviously end of Oct - to see that we are progressing as expected, but I am so full of joy and hope and love with this news.

She then gave me while I was waiting for treatment, a book to read. It's called, You Don't Have To Die When Your Doctor Says by David Elliot. Now, I was a little take aback when she gave this to me by the title alone. But I thanked her and of course, dug right in. It is amazing. I want to share just a portion here tonight before I sign off - because I think anyone who has been diagnosed with cancer, of any kind, or any kind of other serious disease or disability needs to read this book.

Exercising your right to choose is an act of human dignity. I'm with the Bible on this one; we have the freedom of choice. Does that mean we choose and then wait and see if God decided to grant us, or not grant us, what we chose? I don't think so. What sort of choice is that? I believe God empowers and supports all our choices. The problem is that we make a lot of our choices automatically and unconsciously, based on old beliefs and assumptions we have forgotten and that are no longer serving us. So now, in the present moment, we choose again. Decide for yourself how long you are going to live.

I thought this was very powerful and it spoke to me.

My niece is here with us, she arrived today and she just scooped up my kids and started loving on them immediately. I am so blessed to have her here to help me and hang with me. She gave me the biggest hug and continues to just randomly hug me. People with cancer luuuuuuv hugs - you should know this. It is so great. I'm going to go hang with her for a little while longer, then I'm off to bed.

Thank you for your prayers and good thoughts all - they are working. God Bless.

OH - 'Chemo Cam' is coming, got the OK from the medical staff today, so we'll record next weeks treatment. It'll be a hoot! Night Night.