'Ahoy There Matey'? Are U frickin kidding me?

So, that comment above is what someone greeted me with this morning as I arrived to drop off Madeline @ VBS. Now, let me explain that I had was in pretty good spirits this morning, despite being a little late in leaving, I felt really good about how I looked this morning. I elected for a small black cap with one of these pretty sparkly chiffon scarves tied around it. I thought it was subtle (as subtle as a 6 foot bald woman can be) but I in know way thought I looked like a pirate. Guess I was wrong. What struck me was not just the comment, but the way I felt as soon as I heard it. I was angry. Really angry. Now, I'm glad I wasn't bursting into tears, but I'm disappointed in myself for having this type of reaction, because, the last thing I need to be, is more angry. That doesn't help in my healing, at all. There was also an overwhelming part of me which almost burst out "Are you fucking kidding me? You did NOT just say that to me." But, thank God I had sense enough to know that was not an appropriate comment to make at a church, much less with numerous children running about for the first day of registration for Vacation Bible School. For the record, I don't curse that often, but I do feel that some situations in this life are designed specifically for the use of certain words - cancer is one of them, and addressing stupid people is another.

So - I go about my day. Ginger and I ran some errands together, and I can tell the more time I spend with her one on one, the more she is so much like me. Such a flair for the dramatics - all the horrible things I put my mother through when I was little I'm afraid have come back to me in the form of my second born. She is a pistol. I have no specific story on this today, I just love watching her grow into the person she is to be, and marvel at her awareness at the young age of 13 months. Absolutely mind boggling. I just can't seem to hug her tight enough, or kiss her chubby little cheeks hard enough.

I visited the American Cancer Society in Prescott, and met a lovely woman by the name of Deborah who volunteers there. She was just precious, and inspiring being a 2 time breast cancer survivor. We chatted and hugged and prayed together and she had a nurse feed Ginger some yogurt while I looked through some sleep caps cuz my head gets very cold at night and all I have to sleep in are really tight. Hopefully, some of these worn ones will do the trick. In any case, I found a new friend, and felt inspired by her volunteer work. I told her I'd be willing to assist her in this when I get a handle on my own disease. I can't wait to give back.

Tonight PJ and I got to go to the movies, thanks to Cat. She is such a blessing. I thought PJ deserved an early Fathers Day gift, so I took Cat up on her offer for movie tickets and babysitting and we went and saw Star Trek. It was AWESOME!!! We had a blast and stuffed our faces full of popcorn and held hands like little kids. Glad I brought my cancer jacket (this is a fleece hoodie we bought at KMart the day I was diagnosed - I got cold that day and needed something quickly, so for $5 this has now been deemed my cancer jacket - it's warm and very tacky) because you think it gets cold in a movie theater? Try being bald - it gets REALLY cold.

We're home now to a quiet house, we'll see how long it takes one of the girls to make it to our bed. ;-) PJ and I were just speaking about our dog, Snickers, and how her breath is absolutely wretched. (yes, I am telling you this) I called it 'canal breath', because it reminded me of the smell of the waterdogs my dad used to bring home for me as a kid in this special kind of pail. In describing this pail to PJ, he has now enlightened me to the fact that is it called a 'bait pail'. Hmmmm...... I ponder this term - then he asks me "how long did you keep the waterdogs as pets?" I reply that I can't really seem to remember them being around for very long, or in anything besides the 'bait pail'. Now I realize, they were bait, not pets. I tell PJ he has now ruined this memory for me, and I have something to discuss with my father on Sunday. I'm not sure why I felt the need to share this odd story, I thought it was funny. And odd. That's all.

I wanted to close with a portion from my devotional which, ironically enough, has to do with hair loss since I am still trying to wrap my bare naked brain around this. I wish I could type the whole passage, but it would be too long, and I'm getting tired - so I'll share a portion of the prayer, because it was my devotional for Fri, but I've gone back and have read it each night now.

Lord, I lay my appearance before Your throne. I stand amazed that You know how many hairs are on my head and how many I will lose as I battle this cancer. I thank You for teaching me the meaning of true beauty through this. You desire the inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in Your sight. Thank You for Your love and patience toward me as You peel away layers of vanity and pride. I praise You for the gift of Your peace that passes all understanding!

Laura Geist


He is still peeling away these layers - with my tears falling down, but keeping my face looking up. God Bless and Good Night.