Compassion - The Spice of Life

So yesterday was a pretty good day, started out a little rough, I was a little down in the dumps, but ended on a pretty good note. Played outside in the morning with the girls, it was simply beautiful outside. Wore out Ginger (thank you God) she has such a different energy than Madeline had at this age. They both are fearless, but Ginger is way more 'brut' like than Madeline was. She's very stubborn (wonder where she gets that from) and just plows through everything to get what she wants. Needless to say, I have to watch her very closely. Then Jennifer came and picked me up and we went to the 'Look Good Feel Better' class out at the cancer center in Sedona. It was fun. They gave each of us a buttload of make-up which was really awesome, then showed us how to put it on. Most importantly, they showed you how to put on your eyebrows (find your eyebrows really) when and if your should fall out during treatment. It was pretty cool. I must say though, it was the first time I've sat around a table with a bunch of other women cancer patients, and that was tough. It was tough to look around at their faces, and notice we all had the same sort of expression inside us. Tough and comforting at the same time.

My friend Peggy, who I had met at my past treatment was there too. I was so excited to see her. She was having a particularly bad day yesterday, and I could tell, just wanted to talk to other women about it. I hugged her, and when she didn't let go right away, I knew she was crying. Then I cried - I wanted so bad to take her pain and hurt away from her. It hurt to see her so upset. I told her that she needed to call our Dr if she was having some mood symptoms that she couldn't handle - that is was OK for her to ask for some drugs to help her cope, she said thank you. I'm so glad I got to hug her, she is such a special person even though this is only the second time I've seen her. It was nice to just spend some girl time w/ Jennifer too. We continue to deepen our friendship which is so very special to me. She has been that friend that just knows when to call me - knows the right thing to say to me - just so comforting. I'm so blessed to have her in my life. She has been such a source of strength for me, and one who reminds me it's OK to be angry, sad, frustrated. Sometimes just having another female acknowledge your feelings is all you need to move away from that feeling. Does that make sense? Jennifer does that for me - she validates me. Kinda gives me the seal of approval so when I get stuck in a particular weird feeling, I can let it go and move on to the next one.

Physically, I'm really having rough time with this this week. Frustrating more than anything. My mouth sores are really uncomfortable. I am picking up some mouthwash that is supposed to help today, so we'll see. And I'm just tired. I was hoping to get to the gym, and I still may try tonight if I feel better, but I feel like I ran a marathon - physically strained even though I haven't done anything - it's the weirdest thing. I'm a night owl but lately I can't keep my eyes open past 10. I literally feel asleep writing thank you notes out last night - while I was writing! I hope what I wrote makes sense - so if you get one and read it and go 'what the h(*)( is she saying here?' you'll know why. Thank you! - that's what I meant to say.

Hopefully I will have found a cleaning lady today - I'm meeting her and seeing what she's all about here this morning. She's real reasonable, so I'm hoping we click. You gotta be a little picky about who sees your dirty underwear, ya know? Cleaning people are a special breed altogether - I have the utmost respect for them. I know many friends have offered to clean my house, which I appreciate, but, I don't feel real comfortable with any of my friends knowing my toilet that intimately. Sorry.

We'll see how it goes - much love to all till tomorrow. Keep the prayers coming, they work.