Happy Fathers Day

Today had to be one of the best days yet here at the Mountcastle abode. We really just had a lovely day today, and I was feeling much better, which helped a lot.

We woke up this morning to Madeline begging Dad to open his Fathers Day gifts - which was music this year - he got Best of Johnny Cash from Ginger, the new Black Eyed Peas from Madeline, and mom got him the new Plain White T's. He seemed pretty excited. Then I made breakfast for everyone, got everyone dressed and off to church we went. We went to the Lutheran church this morning which was a nice change of pace. Good to shake things up a bit from time to time. Madeline sang in the service with all the other VBS kids, and as PJ is standing taking pictures of her, she did the stereotypical "Hey! That's My Dad!" It was awesome. The whole service was awesome, we were very glad we went.

Got home and Ginger took a really good nap so I was able to have some quality quiet time out front tending to my flowers while Dad and Madeline tended to the grass in the backyard. It was wonderful to just be outside, smell my lovely jasmine and roses and make everything all nice and pretty. If anyone passed by (which no one does, it's Dewey) they would have thought I was crazy cuz I was really chatting up a storm with my jasmine. It's growing like crazy. Probably wants me to shut up already.

Then my Dad and Nancy came over and we all just hung out, and PJ and my Dad really spend some quality time together while Nancy and I tended to the girls. We were able to get them fed and down then the four of us had a nice, long dinner and conversation together. It was so nice, it all felt completely normal. I can't tell you how good normal feels. I remember many times in my life when I was younger when I would wish for anything but normal - funny how things change.

In the shower this morning I went ahead and felt for the lump that had initially sent me into the doctor when this whole nightmare started. What I had actually found was a lymph node, as a reminder, which was swollen (because it was full of cancer cells) - they ended up finding a lump within that same exam. Anyway, I don't feel it any longer. I felt around for awhile, and I really can't find it. I'm so scared to be happy about this, but deep inside I am. Sometimes I feel like anything positive like this can only be helpful to me - even as a state of mind kind of thing, right? I'm grounded enough to know that this doesn't mean anything without the proper scan, but it gives me the one thing that you just wish you could bottle and sell - HOPE. This word is so extremely powerful - I had no idea how powerful this word would become to me. This simple four letter word fills me with such happiness and peace. And anything that draws me closer to it seems to point my mind into a healthier direction. Almost instantaneously. It's like a drug. Like prayer - prayer gives me hope, peace, direction. Amazing.

Nose bleeds are still consistent along with the horrifically painful constipation (lovely, I know, sorry for the description) but I'm taking it all in stride and just trying to find the right drugs to counter act the new emerging side effects. I just keep thinking it's like a horrible dentist appt (no offense Dr. Wally - my visit with you was lovely) just endure it and it will all be over before you know it. Again - HOPE. Keep moving forward, not backwards and don't get stuck in the moment. (another U2 quote - jeez!)

I'm off to bed now, tired and ready to start my week. Madeline and I have her movie in the am, then laundry and I'm going to get to the gym tomorrow and Tues if I can swing it. I need it - badly. This upcoming Wed treatment will be a doosey, so I need to make sure I'm ready to tackle it head on!

Thank you as always for you thoughts and prayers - they are working. God Bless they are working. Here's to HOPE!