She and I went to the movies this morning, and we sat there in the theater watching all the other kids who were whining about this or that. She and I sat there, sharing a popcorn and giggling through the movie. She is a pretty good hang. Then I felt good enough this afternoon to go to the gym, and that felt really great. It's so cleansing - I need to make more of an effort to go. Those of you at home who say the same thing can rest easy that even us cancer patients can't find the motivation to go either.
Speaking of cancer patients, I was thinking about my eyebrows today - and people who get them tattooed on. Now, here is my issue with this - wouldn't you run the risk of always looking like someone just came around the corner and scared you? I mean, I've thought that when I need to start drawing mine on (because I am going to lose them, look at my chemo regime, please) I'm gonna have to start practicing because I'm not that very good at drawing at all - I can draw like, 2 things - a rabbit and - well, ok a rabbit - that's all I can draw now that I think about it. Whatever I end up drawing on as eyebrows will end up deeming my mood for the rest of the day - if I miss the arch I'll be all stern and grumpy looking - if I get a little out of hand with the arch I'll be all surprised and happy/borderline paranoid looking. Maybe I can just get some dry erase markers so then at least I'll be able to change my expression as I deem necessary. Hmmmm. The things I have to worry about.
I'm posting a picture of me and Ginger at a birthday party we attended this weekend. My friend Karen, her little cutie Bennett turned 1 and this was his first birthday party. This was the first party we've attended where we were really not familiar with everyone in attendance, so it was a little awkward to show up as the cancer patient. I can honestly say for the first time, I could have given a shit less that I was at least 10 years older than all the other moms, so that's a good thing I guess. I've got mixed emotions about this picture because it's the first one I've seen of myself, with my kid, where it's blatantly clear to me I'm sick. I'm just not going to get used to this look - which is good, cuz God willing I won't be for long. It's just weird. I'm used to the way I feel and the way I look pretty much matching - it never does now. I thank you Kelly for sharing it with me because my growth in this disease is continuous, and photos are extremely important for me to have taken, see, and share with others. Thank you my friend.
Well, off to bed with me. And not to worry, I'm not running off to the tattoo parlor for eyebrows anytime soon - the Bozo look just isn't for me. Yet anyway.
God Bless.
Dina,
ReplyDeleteI live in Florida and know and pray for you via a very good friend of mine in Prescott. So my observation of you and your looks would be different I assume than those who know you on a daily basis. So let me ask you to assume the scarf on your head might be a towel with which you have wrapped on your head after washing it. Would that make you look ill? NO!!!! So to me neither does the scarf. When I look at the picture I see the intense love and the intense likeness of you and your darling little daughter. I don't see somebody ill. I see you sharing a special moment with your daughter. Assume it is a "messy hair day" and you have rushed to enjoy a special event with your little one, would you then look sick when you looked at the picture. Dina, you are beautiful, just try to focus on your beauty. You can do this, just as we can when we look at your pictures. I hope this helps you with looking at yourself with a scarf on. Love and prayers and more prayers for your courage and insite that you are sharing with many others.
Um- you do not look sick, you look gorgeous. And we totally have that dress, too. I swear your kid has been shopping in our closet. Re: eyebrows: My dad's girlfriend had hers done and it's a process. They look great- no "surprise" look or anything- the only issue is, at first, they are dark and she looks a little groucho and then in a few months, they get that tatooey green look- a li'l grinchy. I still think they look bad ass and you can always get a stencil. What about those stick on ones? I would get stick on jewel ones and get glitter or hot pink ones. Why not? If you aren't contending with corporate America anymore, I sat get freaky. Either way, you are still a MILF. Love you, mamma. ~Sami
ReplyDeleteDina, you are such a beautiful person...hair, scarf or nothing at all. Thank you for all of your inspiration you share with so many of us every day. I just love your faith. ~ Robyn
ReplyDeleteYou make me laugh! I love reading your blogs, you need to compile a little book of your deep and silly thoughts as you come upon new instances as you ponder what to do, like your eyebrow situation now. You are such a comic, glad to hear your sense of humor always coming through :) You and Ginger look great! I know you will probably never get used to seeing yourself in pictures, but who does, we want to see them to see what others see as they look at us but they are always imperfect from our perspective, dumb smile, look fat, awkward looking...etc. But no one else sees that, we are way more critical of how we look to ourselves. Your beauty shines through no matter what!
ReplyDeleteKaren
Hey there,
ReplyDeleteOkay, I can draw a rabbit, a fish, a snowman and on a good day a church with a steeple...so I got you beat there, but think of all the fun you could have drawing on eyebrows just a wee bit out of the ordinary for a trip to the grocery store. The look on the cashiers face...priceless!
You should have this entire blog published when it is all said and done. Your writing is awesome, interesting, life awakening and just plain great. Each day I look forward to reading your journey. What an inspiration you are and you should share in black and white what you have to offer to many women!
ReplyDeleteGreat blog, and I really enjoyed this entry. LOL :)
ReplyDelete