Everyday Is a Winding Road

Treatment went really well today - got some good news from my oncologist too. My blood counts came back great - in fact, she said they looked like any normal persons off the street. Yea me! So that is great news. Then she did her physical exam which she does every time I go in. She examines the area on my right breast where the largest piece was extracted for the biopsy back in March to see how much the swelling has gone down. She commented to me that it had gone down considerably from last week - this is good. Then upon the rest of her physical exam, she said that she didn't feel anything else in my right breast. I said 'but there are 2 other lesions there' and she said 'I know, but I don't feel them'. Now, I am logical enough to know this doesn't mean they aren't there anymore, but how exciting to think of the possibility they aren't - or at least have shrunk to the size that is unfeelable. This is elation. We discussed going forward with scheduling the CT scan after my next treatment, even though it is early. She did advised me, that the results of this scan could be misleading. She said there is a real possibility that they could come back showing the tumors as unchanged, or possibly having grown a bit. But this did not reflect a negative, it just would mean we haven't been on the new drug long enough to really know what is happening. Fair enough - makes sense. Just am not feeling that is going to be the case. We'll see. ;-)

This has really boosted my spirits. I think this was the first real GOOD news I've received since I've been doing this dance, so I'll take it - I'll take it all and let it fill me and make me feel good. It's funny, today I finally felt like - now that I've lost my hair, I can stop worrying about it and concentrate fully on kickin this cancers ass. Finally got that out of the way, ya know? Totally different perspective than what I have been feeling. Plus the fact that I'm getting a 'new routine' on getting ready for the day. It is pretty nice to not have to futz with my hair. I just put my make-up on and go. And, Judy made me more wonderful scarves - they are awesome! They are so comfy, I love them.

Pastor Mary had given me a bible passage to read before my treatment today (got your message btw, thank you, just in time for treatment - perfect!) and PJ and I were talking about this on the way to treatment. We were talking about reading the bible in general and I was saying that I was looking for this passage last night in bed and couldn't find it (why I called Pastor Mary this morning) and so I started reading each book of the bible in section 6 to try to find it, and promptly fell asleep. I commented that I didn't really need to take Tylenol PM, I could just start reading the Bible. PJ said he had tried a number of times in his life to read it cover to cover and failed. Too boring. So then we started playing the typical 'which star would you sleep with' game, well, that's what it was SUPPOSED to be about, instead, our conversation was which star could read the Bible to you - how pathetic is this conversation? Curious of who we named? Thought so - I first said Patrick Stewart could read the Bible to me - he's got the best voice. PJ said Charleton Heston, to which I said NOT!!! That would make me fall asleep even faster - then I said Patrick Swayze, but only Roadhouse Patrick Swayze, then I said Edward Norton (oh yea) and PJ said Selma Hayack and I ended the conversation. These are our car ride conversations. We also discuss the economy, politics, bumper stickers and other stuff, but you don't want to hear about that.

Got home at a decent time, for once, and got some good quality time with my girls. Helped Madeline with her VBS homework this evening after dinner (thank u Karen - VERY yummy), which was fun one on one time - then paid bills - yuk. Sometimes I think we'll just never make enough money, do you feel that way? Oh well, it will all be fine, that's what I keep telling my husband. Don't you worry - everything is going to be fine. We just have to keep working hard, praying hard and helping our fellow man. God will provide. Then PJ looks at me funny, and I just make a fart sound and smile. That usually works. Even bald.

I'm going now to clean the bathroom, steroids are still in full force from today, and I've got energy to burn. Good night to all, and God Bless.