What is going on today?

Ok - Farrah Fawcett AND Michael Jackson? If these indeed come in three's, then Ed McMahon would be three, but it's only like, June? Wow. Surreal, right? I mean, I'm a child of the 80's - so Michael Jackson is like part of my entire childhood memories - AND had 2 older sisters so I had the Farrah Fawcett doll in my Barbie collection (although she was much smaller then the other dolls) then used the curling iron on her hair cuz it wasn't feathered enough for me, not realizing that it was actually plastic, it then of course, melted onto my mothers curling iron, and I had some explaining to do. All of these memories plus more flooded my mind today. What a day. This life we lead, so fragile.

I was actually very quiet and lazy today, which is something I'm not used to being. I am going on a leadership retreat Fri - Sat night (won't be blogging tomorrow or Sat) so I wanted to try and rest up since Fri and Sat are usually my bad days. I just tended to the girls, played with them, fed them, cuddled with them, it was lovely. Just being mom today and not really caring about much else. I did place a call into my oncologist today because I wanted to ask her an emotional question. How do I process the need to compare myself to these other cancer stories? It must be human nature to do this, but how do I move through this thought process? I more patients I meet the more I tend to do this, the more stories I hear on tv the more I tend to do this - I know each of our journey's are different, but they are also very similar, aren't they? I guess that's what I am trying to figure out. And, something I discovered talking w/ my friend this evening, I'm filled with a mixture of relief that it's not me, then guilty because why not me? It's a strange, torn feeling. A balancing act on a white picket fence.

Good news, my story is on the Barack Obama website - I'll give you the link so you can take a look if you care to. Also, if you are compelled, please share your own story - people are listening. This I know because tonight I rec'd a call from Organizing for America asking if they could use the story I had on the website to submit to Congress. I said I would be honored. I'm not going to go off all political - I'm just saying if I can help someone in this situation in the future have coverage the priority in lieu of the insurance companies lining their pockets with profits, then maybe it's worth it to speak out.

http://stories.barackobama.com/healthcare/stories/97098

My husband is bugging me to go to bed - and I think he's right. My tummy is a bit woozy tonight, and I haven't been going to bed till after midnight for the past 3-4 nights. Plus, we are just making our way through the paperwork to file for SS Disability - seems with stage IV I get some assistance here. I figure it this way, the $$ probably won't be there when I retire anyway, I'll look at it as an early withdrawl. ;-) We need all the help we can get.

I have a lot to pray about this evening, so I am off. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers - and let's keep a whole lot of people in our prayers tonight. It's been a bitch of a week, right?

God Bless -