The Wounded Healer

I usually type at the kitchen table each evening, but tonight I've had to move over to the couch with my feet up. My legs are having some circulation problems today, with strange charlie horse type pains in the back of my knees. Now, this is either the chemo, or the fact that I haven't exercised in forever. Hmmmmm....

This mornings church service was simply amazing. I'm going to give you the link to listen because I think everyone can spare a measly 20 minutes out of their days to take a listen to this theory of people, and how we need each other. We Methodists aren't too preachy, so those of you non-church going people need not worry - everyone would definitely get such a beautiful understanding of humanity - and it certainly spoke to me in light of what is happening in my life. That being said, let me say that I have always felt that I was supposed to do something important in this life. I have always felt I had a unique insight into people and have the ability to literally feel what others feel. This, I have now learned (thank you Jesus), is called compassion. My life has been very blessed with many things - I was the youngest of 3 girls and mostly learned from the mistakes of my sisters before me - but surely made my own mistakes along the way. I was involved in acting early on, continued out of high school to perform in many wonderful productions around the Phx area where not only did I hone my craft, but I met some of the most wonderfully dear friends I still have to this day. Moved to NYC with stars in my eyes only to realize I didn't want to live on Top Ramen the rest of my life, so made my day job a career and by the end of my 10 year stint in NYC, performed in the NY Comedy Club, wrote, directed and performed 2 2 woman shows in the village, and had finally obtained the six figure income VP title and an office with a view in the financial district working for the most amazing insurance woman on this planet. I was married to my best friend and we had the most amazing little girl, and all I wanted to do was come home. So that's what we did. We came home to AZ - and I became a stay at home mom, got pregnant with our second child and we learned to 'live within our means' - something I was NOT used to. The first years here in AZ were, what I thought at the time, the toughest I have ever experienced. PJ and I were never the type to argue, about anything really - and suddenly we were arguing, a lot. We worked through it, because thank God, we are best friends first - how blessed am I. The reason I am explaining all of this? Through all of this, I have had some profound personal experiences - with people. Something my first roommate in NY told me once, she said "Dina - you think everyone thinks the way that you do - they don't. You think everyone cares as much as you do - they just don't". I remember this like it was yesterday, and I was floored. I never considered the fact that people didn't care about one another the way that I care about people. It just never crossed my mind! I truly feel I have succeeded in the things I set out to do because I bring this sense of humanity to everything I do. It is with this sense, I know I am supposed to have this disease and I am supposed to talk about it. Talk about how it feels, talk about how much it pisses me off, talk about how very sad I am at times when I think my time here is limited, then how powerful I feel when I know that God is on my side helping me fight this thing, talk about the joy in Madeline's smile, the spunk in Ginger's step, the deep love in my husbands eyes when he looks at me. I'm supposed to talk about this, and make a difference. So I'm going to keep talking. You can ask my husband, I usually have an opinion on just about everything, and I usually want to share it. We go through this life looking for people to relate to us, to understand us, to be compassionate towards us because it makes us feel like we are not alone in this world. We look to people who may have gone through something similar to us and share with them, because they will UNDERSTAND without judgement. We are powerful in each others lives, so powerful. We must love one another without judgement. It's the only way we can learn, and relate, and be compassionate towards one another.

http://www.prescottumc.com/sermons.htm
(wait for this link to show this morning's sermon by Rev. George Cushman)

Here's to a great week for everyone - I get a normal couple of days here before Wed gets here - so I'm going to grab on with both hands and ride.