It's Rosemary's Baby!!

Well, not exactly. But I do look an awful lot like Mia Farrow now. I went ahead and got my hair chopped off as my shower this morning produced handfuls of hair. Unsettling to say the least, so this is the last step from shaving my head. I figure this way it gives us all, including my girls most importantly, a chance to get used to this almost no hair look. It's not that bad. Oddly enough, I really don't care. I feel like I have so many other things on my mind right now, this is just the last thing on earth I want to be bothered with, isn't that ironic. I kinda feel like I look like I have cancer now. And that makes me sad. And old, I feel like I look old. I feel old lately, mostly because I haven't felt good at all for 2 days straight now. I still have this awful taste in my mouth and nothing tastes the way it is supposed to - not even water which sucks. So I can't even feel like I can wash this out of my mouth, if that makes any sense. We went and had Mexican food tonight because I thought maybe if I had something really super spicy, then I would be ale to taste it. Bad idea - why? Because I couldn't taste it, and now I have horrible heartburn. No winning here on this food front issue. Arg.

Madeline said to me when I got home "mommy, your hair looks lovely". How sweet is that? I included a pic that PJ took while we were sleeping, she is such an angel. And of course, I had to include one of the cutest pics of Ginger - she is such a little crazy girl, so cute. I have to brag, can't help it.

I hope this intensity of the side effects is just this one time at the end of my cycle, and not for the rest. I mean, of course, I'll deal with it if I have to, I think I was just kinda spoiled early on with the rash and all (what did I know?). Sometimes when I think this could go on for another 11 months I feel like throwing up - not giving up, just throwing up. I'm so mad sometimes that i have to do this - when all I really want to do is go camping or plan a trip to Disneyland or plan a trip back East sometime, and I know, I can still do all these things, just not now. I WILL do all these things, just not now. (actually we are going camping on my off week in July so THERE you stupid cancer!) It's just frustrating. I look at everyone else and think - they don't have cancer, they don't have cancer, they don't have cancer - but I do. Again the silly pity party. I can do this, I'm just not real happy about it all the time, is that normal? I'm looking forward to this week of just going in for labs and that's it - I wonder how good I am going to feel - and I wonder if this taste bud thing is a permanent thing now or what. Yukko is all I can say about this. OH - and I am also going to the Look Good Feel Better class in Sedona - where they teach you how to apply makeup and make turban's out of t-shirts and stuff - should be fun.

PJ and I watched a funny movie last night, which we are trying to do more and more these days. Burn After Reading is pretty damn funny - if you are Cohen brothers fans like we are. I highly recommend it.

So here are the pics I talked about - enjoy - and know if you run into me on the street and mistakenly call me Mia, I'll forgive you. ;-)